Ohmygiddygod! Pants and Pantaloons? No Way!
by silentdreamsinthisheartx
Summary: Dave and Georgia made a agreement that if they both weren't married by the time they were 30, they would marry each other. With their 30th birthdays approaching what will happen? Will Gee get her Hornmeister or will someone take away her chance? Gee/Dave
1. See the Pants! Get The Pants!

_**A/N I don't own characters. Louise Rennison does :( Except from Elizabeth. **_

_**Well lets just give you background info on this to make everything cleary clear. This is based on My Best Friends Wedding but will not have the same ending but you don't need to have seen the film to understand it. **_

_**Georgia and Dave are 29 in this fan fiction and as a twist Georgia is in lurvee with him and knows it :D Updates on this may be slow as I am working on finishing my first fanfic: Boys fiasco's, octopus fights and cowboy hoedowns! Also talking about that story, like in that the bits where her brain talks to her and it is in bold ; it is in this as well. **_

_**Reviews maybe? Go on you know you wanna ;) they would be vair loved :D Wuvv you in a non-lezzie way and for any Jassy type people out there saying how can you lurrvee me you dont know me, i just mean it in general way and i am vair kindosity. :D**_

* * *

Me and Dave have been bestie pallies since we were 15 years old. I originally went out with him to make another boy jealous and then felt guilty so I told him the truth broke it off with him.

He was still a pallie to me after that, we were occasional snoggees and I cheated on all my boyfriends with him and ditto with him and his horn partners. We have been bestie chumlie wummlie pallie wallies since; he has always been there for me and looked out for me. He was the only boy I had ever met that could understand my rambling and acted as much as a loonie as I was.

We have went to university and college together which was vair good times like when we used to go to gigs but it was vair more marvy because we could drink alcohol in these clubs.

On a night when we were drunk we said to each other if we don't marry before we turn 30 we would marry each other. 1 am 29 nearly 30, I turn 30 next week and Dave is 30 the week after me.

I am not married and neither is he. I am not engaged and neither is he

. I don't have a boy type horn partner and neither does he. Do you see where I am going? We could get married. He's probably forgotten though, he is vair like that.

Ho hum pigs bum, that would be vair awkward to bring up. Oh it would be marvy though. So I am guessing you have got the main point as to why I am bringing up this silly agreement we made when we were vair, vair drunk. If you haven't then this is the reason:

I LURVE Dave.

Yep, I have for a vair long time. I figured it out after that night we said we would marry each other if we weren't married by the time we were 30. I just couldn't imagine being with anyone but him and vice versa. Oh I spent loads of nights boozing on alcohol trying to convince myself I wasn't in lurvee with him.

Being in lurvee with your bestie pallie is vair not cleverosity because if you ever act on it you may lose them. Vair difficult. I knew he had lurrveed me when we were teenagers, but nothing after that suggested he still felt the same.

Oh I lurvee that man. He knows everything about me, all my favourite memories are with him, we finish each others sentences, and we know everything about each other. He travels a lot though; I hate it when it he is away, I feel vair lonely.

Although I do have Masimo. Masimo is my gay best friend. I went out with him in my teenage years, we were a bit on and off but eventually went out but it didn't work out.

Dave always told me her was on the gay side of the handbag but I never believed him. It was on a night where I was alone in a pub, Dave was away again and I was vair lonely, Masimo was in the pub with his boyfriend Paul. He noticed me and came over, I recognised him immediately, and he was still vair gorgey.

Shame he is gay really, the ladies love him. Anyway we got to talking and I told him my entire life story basically, and he told me Dave was right, he did have a handbag and that he was confuzzled about his sexuality then so he went out with me and Lindsay to see if it was just he hadn't found the right kind of girl but in the end he knew he was gay.

It was vair nice to talk to him, when we were going out he could barely understand me as he is Italian but his accent has gone now after more than 10 years of living in merry England. It is vair good to have a gay friend, they understand men and help you shop.

Its vair marvy.

He has helped me out a lot of the years, especially when Dave got a girley type friend or was away on work. Dave doesn't know that I am friends with him, whenever I am going to see him I say I am going to see Rosie, which I do go see her vair lots.

Rosie is vair the same as when we were teenagers i.e. vair madosity personified. She is married to Sven, oh just memories of their wedding still makes me have a laugh spaz.

I was made of honour and was wearing a dress mixed with Viking costume and my bison horns on. Dave had the same minus the dress and was the best man. So we had to dance with each other which was vair _tres amusante! _

Neither of us could waltz so we ended up in a pile on the floor. I can't wait for him to come back, I vair miss him. I have got to eschew wimposity with a firm hand and either ask about our agreement or say to him that I lurrveeee him.

Hmm I should really call Libbs, she is vair marvy for conversation, she is vair like me now but more madosity personified.

Even she has a boyfriend at the moment. Hahaha! He is vair funny and madosity personified. Absolutely purrfect for Libbs. He reminds me of Dave, vair gorgey and funny. Libby is sort of me, how I wanna be i.e. in lurvee with my boy type friend, happy and not caring what other people think.

Hmm I may have to see Masimo soon, I feel a depressed time coming over me which I will need a partner in to either get drunk out of _le tete _or my head for those minxes not as marvy at French as me, hmm or was it another word?

Well anyone either drunk out of my head or a vair long talk were I spill my heart out and he gives me advice, its generally to eschew my wimposity with a firm hand and tell him, so basically the same as Rosie.

No point asking Jas what I should do, her response is the same every time: " Soul mates have a way of finding each other so just wait and see"

What sort of _merde _advice is that? Do nothing, what happens if he gets married or something and I end up a vair lonely sad old woman with just a cat, probably knowing my luck a vair Angus like cat.

Oh man, I miss that cat, I was vair sad when he died, he lived for 16 years so at least he was in a lot of my life.

I think Dave is coming back tomorrow, I can't wait!

Well he hasn't definitely said when he was coming back but I am having a Mystic Meg moment and think he is.

Or I could be totally wrongaroonie but oh well. Hmm I wonder if anyone will call tonight. Rosie said she might, she said she would be vair like a military leader screaming at me" See the Pants! Get the Pants!"

1 minute later

Ohmygiddygod! I really am Mystic Meg. Just as I was thinking someone might phone, someone did. That someone was Dave! Vair fabby.

"Bonsoir Kittykat!" Gadzooks! He hasn't called me that in ageees, he must be in vair _fantastique _mood. Yes! Yes! And Thrice Yes!

"Bonjour Hornmeister, you are in a vair marvy mood, would that be because you are talking to your bestie pallie Kittykat?"

"Hahaha! Still a vair _le _comedie genius Kittykat, of course it is! How have you been?"

And from there we went on for the next hour catching up on each other, telling each other the vair funny things like when I stacked it the other day in the tube and landed head first in a bin and the security guards had to get me out. Vair embarrosity but of course Dave found it _tres _hilarious and had a laughing spaz that lasted about 20 minutes.

I just put the phone on speaker and practised yoga. Just as I was finishing off, I accidently fell into my wardrobe. I heard Dave say what happened so I told him and of coursey he had another laughing spaz.

Typico and _Sacre Bleu! _It's like we are back to being teenagers again.

Then he told me about some of his funny moments like when he tripped over on the beach and fell on a surf board that was still riding the waves. Hahaha! Oh for the love of Dave the Biscuit, he is still vair _le comedie_ genius. Oh I lurrrveee him! I wish he was here.

Every time I am with him I feel special, like because I am with him I am someone vair important. T

he only half _merde _thing is that I can barely breathe around him because he is so vair gorgey porgey and yummy scrumboes!

For another hour on the phone, we were going on about our memories like when we were in university, outings with mateys, holidays together and with groups.

Hahaha! Like that holiday we had for my 21st all the Aces and Barmy's. _T_

_res, tres, tres, tres, tres, _vair, vair, vair, vair and vair _tres amusante_! It was only two weeks but it was the vair funniest two weeks ever.

The shots, the parties on beach, hotel roof, clubs, restaurant and other places. Hahaha and the foam, food, cocktail, water and the ketchup fights that we had pretty much on every day. Also it was the holiday me and Dave hooked up.

It was amazing, Dave had arranged the whole trip as a surprise and didn't tell me about the holiday until 2 days before we was going, so I was feeling vair fabby towards Dave.

We were the closest we have ever been on that holiday, we were cuddling, snuggling, flirting and joking around together. We did those classic couple type things you know flirting in the water, Dave putting me on his shoulder while Rosie was on Sven's and we had a little fisticuffs then both fell off.

Vair funny and painful. Everybody else was horn partners and still is amazingly so me and Dave were left as goosegogs extraordinaire so we naturally were together.

There was one night when we were all raving in a pasha club, did I mention we were in Ibiza?, It was vair hardcore.

Anyway, all the others were snogging and getting vair drunk on the dance floor. Us girls were dressed in retro clothes and had glow sticks so everyone could see us and be filled with admirosity for us.

So anyway my point was me and Dave were bloody plastered so we were flirting more than we normally do and we were like one of the last people on the dance floor at 4:00am so we went back to the hotel and one thing led to another and we 10'ed.

The next day we didn't act like anything had happened but I was vair happyosity, I couldn't believe it. I thought this would be the next stage in our relationship but he had to go away on a work trip like 2 days after we left so we sort of never talked about it. That was probably the best moment of my life.

5 minutes later

Gadzooks! Dave is still going on about his time in California, he vair loved it. Hmm this is the most he has ever liked a place. He better not decide to move there, I may kill myself. It is bad enough he travels so vair much if he moved away that would be vair bad.

Hmm I really want to bring up the agreement fandango but it would be vair embarrosity filled if he didn't remember.

**Just do it, don't be a wimp all your life, I get vair bored of it. **

Who asked for your opinion _le _fule brain!

**Fine if you wont ask yourself I will force you. Lips! Listen to my rambling.**

Ah no!

"So Kittykat, anything you want to talk about, you have been letting me ramble on vair long."

"Well..erm..do you..erm .. you know.." Gadzooks! I need to remove Ellen's voice box out of my mouth.

"Gee, please remove Ellen's voice box from your mouth and talk in vair normal way" Freaky deaky. I swear he reads my mind sometimes. Vair scary bananas.

"1. I did not have Ellen's voice box and besides I couldn't pull of the skill of being a ditherspaz and 2. Well I was just thinking about something we said a long time ago, well it was when we were drunk and well…"

"1. yes you did just admit it, let your nunga-nungas run wild and free(oo-er!) and 2. I think I know what you are rambling on about, was it the little agreement fandango we made when we were plastered, which we said we would marry each other when we were 30 if we weren't already married to other people."

"Erm.. well yes.."

"I cant believe you still remember that, you were vair plastered and you aren't vair famous for having a vair marvy memory Kittykat. Hmm well I have something to say about that" Ohmygiddygod! Was he going to propose over the phone?

"Well while I was here in California, I was doing a lot of thinking about my life, I know your thinking wow Dave the Biscuit deep? But seriously I was thinking about how I travel too much for work and need to be in a more secure fandango. I was seriously considering quitting my job."

" I know you are thinking Ohmygiddygod! I must have been vair filled with depressingosity to think about quitting my vair well paid job and I do lurvee it. Then just as I was going into the sea I bumped into someone. I just immediately felt drawn to her, I didn't know what horn it was but I definitely had a type of horn for her."

"We got to know each other, she is upper class and a tad on the posh side but she is vair down to earth and beautiful. Well after a while I got vair more attracted to her and fell in love with her then I proposed and she said yes. I am getting married! There you go, there's vair marvy side for you, and you don't have to marry me and can go out blowing guys horns!"

Ohmygiddygod. I cant believe it. He is getting married. Not to me. To a girley type friend he has known less than a month.

I cant believe it.

I feel like blubbing like a blubbing thing. That was vair lot of information to take in. He was going to quit his job.

That means he could have been around more.

Then she, who he hasn't even told me the name of, comes swooping in and ruin my chances. I hate her already.

"Look Kittykat, I know your brain is probably vair rambling at all that information so should I give you a moment?"

"Hornmeister that is vair lot of information. I cant believe the single pringle is finally getting married! So what's her name?"

Okay brain, I know what your thinking. What the hell was that? Why was I acting happy for him?

Well to answer your vair good questions, I don't know. I guess it was because he sounded so happy, I couldn't bear to say don't marry her.

I am hardly going to go say I lurrvee him when he has just told me he is getting engaged. I am not am I? No is the right answer. Why tell him I lurvee him when he know is in lurrvee with someone else.

Now shh brain with your questions! I am trying to listen to the Pants King!

"So you are happy for me? Her name is Elizabeth"

Hahaha! Should of guessed it, vair posh name not even shortened to Lizzie which is vair cooler than Elizabeth. It's a typico old queen name. Ah I really don't want to meet her, I feel a possible fisticuffs happening between me and Miss Poshosity. Vair cheek of her, she's stolen Pants! Ah I vair hate her already.

"Yesaroonie of coursey I am Dave, you're my bestest pallie wa-"Then he cut me off talking about Elizabeth.

10 minutes later

Dave has been rambling on and on about perfect bloody Elizabeth. Hmm from what I have been listening to of his vair gigantibus amount of rambling she sounds vair diffo from what I expected a girly type friend of his to be.

She sounds like a has a vair rich and posh family. Dave is vair not rich, got quite a bit of money but not vair rich and Dave is nowhere near being a posh type person, except from when he puts on what he calls his "Posh pants!" voice. _Tres amusante _though.

She has vair "important" vati.

Dave's vati is a comedian in a pub; he is _tres, tres, tres, tres amusante. _

I like his vati; he is madosity personified and sort of reminds me of a grown up Dave, he even talks like him. He says he is Mystic Matt and he knows also out of his vair cleverosity that me and Dave will marry each other.

Hmm I am going to have to give him a stern telling off, he filled me with hopeosity and now he is wrong.

Ah its badosity when a Mystic is vair wrongaroonie.

Ho hum pigs bum.

She doesn't like karaoke.

Me and Dave lurrveeee karaoke; we do it vair often when we are drunk.

Hmm I am going to write that down it might help later. Hahaha! Kittykat is planning her pounce already. _Tres _cleverosity filled as per usual.

Oh I really don't see how Dave could not see my vair marvyosity and fabbosity and he sees that vair _enneyeux _wet weed.

Hmm funny I haven't called anyone that since Wet Lindsay. I haven't seen her in donkeys years last I heard she and Spotty Norman were getting married. I was so glad when I heard that because I thought Robbie might have been a _le _fule and married her.

Robbie is the boy I tried to make jealous with Dave. He was on and of with Lindsay for years, the poor dim boy. He finally settled down with a girl that thankfully was nothing like Lindsay.

Hmm I haven't emailed him in a few weeks, he gives vair marvy advice. Hmm well Mr Marsupial Lover. Ah if this confuzzles you here is my vair marvy explanation: When we were horn partners he went away for a few months to Kiwi-a-go-go land and I said afterwards that I didn't need someone who lurved marsupial's.

He still works in that sort of area, along with Jas and Tom the Vole Married Couple.

Erlack! Who would want to work with marsupial's and even worse then worse Jas. Vair scary bananas.

Hmm I really need a Ace Gang party night out after all this vair tragicosity business. Jas is a nature something, Ellen amazingly works in a shop as a manager, how the customers understand her ditherspaz's confuzzles me, Rosie works as a translator for Swedish or whatever language Sven is and also helps Viking Reindeers move over here. Jools and Mabs are both working as teachers.

Hahaha I think that is vair funny, I would lurrvee to be taught by them as they are vair same as when we in university i.e. vair hilarious. I seriously don't know how they are still in jobs as they are vair silly unlike me who is brimming with sophisticosity and maturosity.

10 minutes later

Dave has finally taken a break from The Elizabeth Ramble, and then he had to go as soon as he finished.

Vair _merde! _That Miss Poshosity Elizabeth ruined my phone call with Dave.

It was supposed to be vair fabby and full of funny stories and vair marvy rambling.

Ah I am so not happyosity right now. I still cant believe it. Dave is getting married, and not to me! Waahh! Tears, tears and tears are coming.

What took you so long aye?

10 minute later 

After I managed to reduce my tearosity spaz to just sniffling I decided to call The Ro-Ro Viking Queen. She will be vair shockedosity.

"_Bonjour moi petite _pallie,how can I be of service to you?"

"O great Viking Queen, I vair request your vair fabby advice"

"Ah I thought so, I had a Mystic Meg moment that told me that, now tell The Ro-Ro what's up." So I told her everything about Elizabeth and what Dave said and about how I was hoping we could live out the agreement. All I got was silence fandango for about a 1 minute then she said:

"Well _moi petite _pallie, the only thing to do is to fight for your Pants! Mission break up the Biscuits wedding, is now a go!" _Sacre Bleu!_

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**Phew! I hope you like this, I know it is tres tideous reading big chunks of writing but it was vair filled with rambling which I hope you like. **

**Reviews would be vair appreciated ;)**


	2. Pantaloons Attack Again

_**A/N I don't own the characters, Louise Rennison does :( I only own Elizabeth and the flight attendant. **_

_**Chappy 2 (: Thank you to jen jen davieees and Earth Tree Hugger for your marvy reviews :D vair, vair and tres gigantibusly appreciated :D I hope you like this and reviews would be vair fabby :D ;) btw the bold in this chappy is Georgia's brains talking to her. Updates may be a bit slow for this story as i have another fanfic i am trying to write aswell so dont flame me if it takes forveer for moi to update :)** _

1 minute later

Ho hum pigs bum.

Ro-Ro is vair loon and madosity personified, may the Pants! be with her.

How are we going to break up the wedding? With out Dave wanting to eat me.

That is vair weird twist, a Biscuit eating a Kittykat.

Shut up brain!

You would think now we are at an age of vair sophis and maturosity that my brain wouldn't talk a load of rubbish but this is the unfortunate world we live in today.

2 minute later 

I am tres worried what Ro-Ro might come up with. S

he is not the most cleverosity and norma normal person.

And she may enforce Sven to crash the wedding Viking style then vair embarrosity fill me. _Sacre bleu! _

5 minutes later

Ah! This is not supposed to be happening according to the vair weird man who writes my life story I am supposed to be getting married to Dave the Laugh, not bloody watching him get married to some posh pantaloons.

Hahahahaha! I do amaze myself with my vair comedie genius thoughts.

Ah I am going vair loony with sadosity, I have vair reputation to hold up as a vair un-loony Kittykat.

Stupid Elizabeth coming in and kidnapping my script guy and changing it to watching the one I lurrveee get married to someone else.

Bloody bitch of the first water.

I already hate her and I have never met the posh pantaloons.

10 minutes later

Hmm I wonder when the wedding is, I hope it's a vair long engagement so then I will have vair long to prepare how I am going to break up the wedding and win my Pants!

Hmm I wonder why Dave didn't say when it was on the phone, oh I no he was too busy going on about the Pantaloon.

Then as if he was ear wigging in my brain, which I wouldn't be vair surprised at he called.

"Bonsoir Kittykat, It just hit me and no Kittykat don't make any comments about a hitting thing hitting me, I didn't actually tell you when the wedding is. Well its next week, and its going to be here in California, which is where we first met. Hahaha I bet you are trying not to have a laughing spaz at Dave the Soppy Romantic. I have finally bought the Particular Horn so i guess I have buying the Particular Horn hysterics. Sorry for rambling on Kittykat, although I know you probably are in your vair loon of a brain."

He knows me vair too well, its freaky deaky and scary bananas. Ahhh! And for those vair dim minxes who don't understand why am I screaming in my brain these are the reasons:

Dave is getting married to Elizabeth

He is getting married in a week! This doesn't give me much time for my master cleverosity plan to get my Pants!

I have to travel to California which is just vair long flight and vair tedious.

He knows me so well that it makes me lurvee him vair more and in the words of Dave " The bigger the Pants! The bigger the fall!"

Which for the vair confuzzled people like I was the first time he said it, it means that the more you lurvee someone if you are rejected the fall and pain of it is vair harder.

He is saying he is vair Dave the Soppy Romantic which means he is in lurvee and that made it sink in. It vair hurts to let you know.

Ah I feel a blub a thon soldiers attack, they are vair regulars in hotel Gee Nicolson and they stay for agees. Bloody blub soldiers. I vair hate them. They are vair mean.

1 minute later

_Merde! _With all my rambling in my vair fule of a brain I forgot to actually answer Dave. Ah well he will probably know it was because my brain was rambling vair gigantibus and enough for Merrie England.

"Kittykat, I know you're probably having a vair loon ramble session with your brain but it does get _tres _boring waiting for you to reply" Gadzooks he really does know me too well.

"Sorry Hornmeister, my brain decided to go to Ramble land, So why is the wedding so soon?" Nearly made sense. Not bad brain I may forgive you.

"Well Kittykat, we were so in lurvee we decided why wait? We can afford to do it quickly as I earn enough and her family have vair more than enough. By the way Kittykat, Elizabeth's family have paid for you to be flown over in the next couple of days so start packing because I know it will take you more than a day to pack your whole wardrobe which I vair know you will do so pip pip and off on the packing camel you go!"

Then he hung up.

Vair rude.

Ohmygiddygod! I have less than two days to pack, it normally takes me at least 4 weeks before, now I have a day!

Ah Pantaloons attacks again!

Why bloody tell me one day before?

Ah he is lurrveed up.

I hate it.

1 hour later

Oww bloody aggers!

There are so vair many clothes on my floor that I tripped over some shoes, they are bloody gorgey but still owww!

Stupid Elizabeth!

This is all her fault, if she hadn't enticed Dave and made him proposed to her then paid for my flight and made Dave not tell me sooner I wouldn't have all these clothes out at once.

4 hours later

Ah _merde! _

When I rang old Jazzy Spazzy she said you are only allowed one suitcase on the plane.

I could have made Jas eat her knickers when she said that.

How do they expect me to look vair fabby and gorgey if I can't take most of my clothes?

It is vair, vair rudey. Its bad enough I don't even have a full day to pack now I am only allowed one suitcase. O

h Baby J, why do you vair hate me?

Libby took off your frock ages ago and turned you back from the ways of the transvestite.

I am vair victimised in this world.

My story would make me millions of squids then I could pay someone to move the Pantaloon family to somewhere no one could find like the Unable To Find Land.

Muhahahaha!

I think I have pre wedding breaking down hysterics.

Oh marvy that's all I need going loony before I can set my master plan to break down the wedding.

**Which is?**

I have no bloody clue.

**Brillopads. You are going to make a fiasco of a sham of us. **

Shut up brain!

1 hour later

Yes, Yes and Thrice Yes!

Dave phoned to say that his parents paid for a private jet to take me so I can have as many suitcases as I want.

Oh thank you Baby J, for this act of caringosity.

I knew you lurrveed me deep down.

I now have 4 suitcases which I think is vair good if you have seen the size of my wardrobe and no you fules not the actual wardrobe the amount of clothes, accessories, shoes, handbags and stuff in it.

I have 16 dresses, so imagine trying to shove them into one suitcase. Vair cleverosity of me, if you ask me and you just did.

10 minutes later

Ro-Ro just rang for an Ace Gang meeting.

For those fules who don't know who the Ace Gang is, they are Ro-Ro, Jas, Jools, Mabs, Ellen my bestie pallie wallies from school.

They all married the Barmy Army, which are Sven, Tom, Rollo, Ed, Dec. Me and Dave are the only ones left unmarried, well if I cant convince Dave that he lurrvees _moi _then I will be goosegog extraordinaire.

Yay! A Ace Gang meeting with out the boys, I won't be goosegog extraordinaire.

Girl's night out!

Ace Gang meeting

Ah its so fabby to be with the Ace Gang again!

They all look vair fabby!

We were all just talking vair fast like French people for about ten minutes.

Then they just did the staring fandango at me.

Ah just like in school, how I miss it. Not.

"I know I am vair attractive girl, but I don't swing that way." Hahaha tres amusante.

"So Gee, don't you have something to tell the Fab Five?" Ooh Ro-Ro, that's mean.

"Maybe…" They just looked at me like looking things in a looking competition.

"Like?" I decided to take the camel by the horn and be vair truthosity filled.

So I told them all about Dave and his Pantaloons.

They all did the famous Ace Gang Goldfish Expressions, although some have improved on the attractiveness well except Ellen's which is still vair, vair scary bananas.

"Hang on, Elizabeth…. That girl Dave met on holiday? Ohmygiddygod! Pants and Pantaloons? No way!" We all just stared at Mabs like staring things.

"How do you know Elizabeth?"

"Well Ed was on a business trip to California and he took me with him, and we saw Dave out there and he introduced us to his "friend" Elizabeth.

Both me and Ed said after that she was vair too posh for Dave.

Trust me Gee, just wait until you meet her you will bloody hate her for her being Posh Pantaloons.

Especially as you already hate her for stealing Davey Boy from you." Ohmygiddygod! I didn't know Mabs had met her!

"Ohmygiddygod! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Sorry Gee, we only got back couple of days ago and I had to get straight back to work" Hmm I suppose I can forgive her.

"Hmm well Mabs, I am sure I can forgive you if the next round is on you" She just grinned and said :

"Well as is fair in Love and Pants" and went off laughing at her self.

I really don't know how she still has a job as a teacher, what her students must learn is vair weird.

I would love to be her student; she probably teaches them the Viking bison inferno dance or something.

10 minutes later

The Ace Gang were talking about their horn partners and stuff when Ro-Ro said:

"Ah we are turning into a depressingosity and sappy group, lets go to the club, have a groovy gravy rave and get pissed." Sound bloody marvy to me.

"Yes, Yes and Thrice Yes!" and the others all copied. Hahaha they are all turning into copying type things.

"In the name of Those Sappy and Depressingosity All Over The World, Let-eth Us-eth Get-eth Down-eth!" and "lets go down to the disco"ed all the way to the club.

3:00 am 

Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!

That was a vair marvy night, I snogged 5 vair gorgey guys, got vair plastered and the Ace Gang did our vair famous dances, and everybody joined in!

It was like in 13 Going On 30 the film when she does the Thriller dance and everybody joined in.

I felt vair famous and specialosity.

Muahahahha!

Ah I think I have got hysterics again.

**No love, your pissed. **

Hahaha no I am not you silly minx.

2 minutes later

Ow bloody ow!

I am in aggers!

In my non drunken state I tripped over the dog basket and fell in it.

Vair painfully.

1 minute later

Hold your pants a minute.

I don't even have a dog so why would I have a dog basket?

I am still not pissed.

Hmm it's quite snugly in here; I might just stay here for a second…zzzzzzzzz.

6:00 am 

Ohmygiddygod! Did someone play hammer heads with me and I lost? Ah what happened? I feel like shit.

15 minutes later

Merde!

Why am I in a dog's basket?

I don't own a dog or a dog basket.

Oh no, last night just came back to me.

Me and Ro-Ro walking back pissed out of our heads and found the old dog basket and for some reason came vair in lurvee with it.

Ah, I bet I made _le _fule of myself, oh great The Ace Gang will never let it go.

1 minute later

_Merde! _

I am catching a plan today to see Dave and his Pantaloons.

Marvy.

Gadzooks!

I am supposed to be going on the private jet at 8.

Ooooh I feel vair posh saying that.

Erlack! I hate Posh Pantaloons.

We didn't come up with a breaking up the wedding plan either so its up to my brain to save the day.

I am doomed; let the pants be with us.

8:00am

I look vair uggers today; I didn't have time to do my makeup and hair so I think I might of scared the pilot and I only just made it in time to get on the jet.

Ooooh jeez, it is vair wow in here.

All mini-bars, a bar, champagne all that sort of stuff you here celebs have.

Well the only good thing that comes from this bloody fandango is that I finally get the celeb treatment that I vair deserve for being a vair marvy, fabby and groovy gravy.

Ooooh I could get used to this.

5 minutes later 

Red nail polish for that Sex Kitty look, I have to look vair like a Sex Kitty for Davey Boy.

Hmm I might have to write a list as my vair poor hung over brain and my aching head will probably forget what I need for my beauty regime.

1 hour later 

Cleanse, tone and moisturise – check

Hair in curlers- check, although I did give the flight attendant a shock when he saw me in them.

Nail polish on feet and nails – check

File nails when dry- check

Glitter body moisturiser- check

Base coat of foundation- check

Second coat of foundation- half way

Powder – not done

Blusher and toner- not done

Eyeliner – not done

Liquid eyeliner and eyes shadow – not done

Mascara coats – not done

Lippy and lip gloss – not done

Straighten hair – not done

Hmm not bad for an hours work, 7 and half things done already.

Well this is a nine hour flight so I have vair loads of time.

Ah! I am so vair tired I could fall asleep right now…zzzzzzzzz

6 hours later – 3:00 pm 

_Merde! _I overslept vair too much. M

y base coat of foundation has come off so I have to start all over again.

Ah Baby J, why do you hate me?

4:30pm – 1 and half hours later

Only my mascara and lippy to do now, ah!

Half hour to do my 8 layers of mascaras so it looks like boy entrancers and do vair fabby lippy and lip gloss.

This is going to be a rush.

5:05 pm 

How vair rudey is the pilot, being 5 minutes late landing.

Five minutes more delaying seeing Dave.

I bet he is thinking:" Oh Georgia, wherefore art thou Georgia?" well actually that's a bit vair too deep probably

"Where in the name of Pants is Kittykat?"

Yep that's vair more like Dave.

Oh I cant wait to see him.

Hurry up and let me out of this bloody jet.

I wanna see my Hornmeister.

In airport where you come out 

Hmm where is Dave? Typico.

I am late so he is late.

"Kittykat!" I turned around and saw him making his way through the crowd.

Oh my bloody god.

He is gorgeous, I was almost dribbling that's how gorgey and yummy scrumboes he is.

Ah breathe Georgia, breathe!

He reached me and put his arms round my waist and lifted me up and twirled me around. I

t made me laugh like a loon and go all happyosity filled at the same time.

After he stopped spinning me he put me down and gave me that gorgey grin that makes me go jelloid.

It took all of my girdey loins to not go jelloid.

"Oh my god Kittykat, it's been way to long."

"It really has Davey Boy"

"Looks like someone got vair pissed last night"

"Are you Mystic Matt or something? How did you know, I don't look like I am hung over anymore?"

"Ahhh the biscuit always knows plus your eyes just scream hung over, oh Kittykat I have missed you" and gave me another hug and kissed my forehead.

Oh damn, that boy really does something to me.

"Elizabeth, where are you? Georgia's here" then a vair Posh Pantaloons voice said:

"Oh I coming darling." Then she appeared right next to Dave.

**A/N Right I am ending it there or I will be going on forever. I hope that was easier to read than the last chappy. It wasn't in big chunks like before. The next update should be in a couple days, depending on how far I get with chapter 13 of boy fiascos, octopus fights and cowboy hoedowns! I hope you liked this, reviews would be vair marvy and appreciated :D come on you now you want to ;) Lurvee you all in a vair non-lezzie way :D**


	3. NungaNungas Are Having a Rave

A/N I don't own most characters, Louise Rennison does :( I only own Elizabeth and her family.

Chappy 3! Ah I am lurving writing this story, hopefully I won't get as much writers block as I normally do as I am basing it on movie so already have ideas set :) Thanks for the reviews! They are vair appreciated and make me feel vair, vair special :) Btw if there are any readers reading this who read Boy Fiascos, Octopus Fights and Cowboy Hoedowns! Can you pwease, pwease tell me if you wanna sequel to it because otherwise I can only write middle and start of it and it will take vair longer to update the chappy unless I make it a filler to the last chappy. So let me know :) Hope you likey this chappy :D Reviews maybe? Go on you know you wanna ;) if you have things you want to or don't want to see in this story let me know also. June 25th is the best day ever! Do you know why? The last book is out! Ah so vair excited, excuse me I've got to go do my happy dance again :) Gadzooks! 4 times in two days!

Ah much better now back to the chappy, I hope you like it :)

Btw do you know how addictive watching Wild Child is? It keeps distracting me from writing. I must have watched it like ten times since Monday and its only Thursday, ooh that is bad aint it :| Sorry for rambling :) you know you lurvee it really though ;)

1 minute later

Ohmygiddygod. She is vair pretty. Damn. How am I so supposed to get to marry me when she is around?

10 seconds later

Hahahaha. She is dressed vair posh you know that sweater tied round neck with ugly jumper and knee length skirt type look posh people wear. She has a big hat too. It took all I had not to have a laughing spaz. What in the name of Our Lord Jesus's ex transvestosity is Dave doing with her?

1 minute later

"Hello Georgia, I am Elizabeth Dave's fiancé" why is the fule talking to me like I am three? "Its absolutely spiffing to meet you" then hugged me. Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph. This girl is vair freak. Me and Jas don't hug and we are vair nearly bestie pallies. Sacre Bleu! I hope not all posh pants and pantaloons are like that or I will be getting vair gigantibus amounts of hugs from vair random pants. May the Pants be with you!

Gazillions and squillions years later

The Pantaloons has finally let me go, and his smiling vair widely and happy chappy at me. Gadzooks her smile is quite freaky deaky and verging on the brink scary bananaosity. Dave was smiling at us both, phwoar! It took all I had to not go jelloid knickers; don't want to give the Pantaloon suspiciosity this early on it might ruin my master plan. **Which is? **Ah if you have to ask you wont get it. **So in norma normal terms you don't have one. **Si

"Well you two why don't we hit the road" Hmm that is weird, no lets get away on my camel, time waits for no pants you know sort of thing the Hornmeister would say. Sherlock Nicolson will tip top suspiciosity wise.

10 minutes later

Gott in himmel and bloody hells bells! Pantaloons demanded to drive which Dave gave into vair easily, oh _merde _I hope he doesn't become lurrvee sick pants that will do anything she says. Ooooh I hate her already. Anyways before I was vair rudely interrupted, gott in himmel and bloody hells bells! She is a maniac driver. She was going vair fast, nearly hitting people and so on, but talking vair norma normal. Gadzooks! If that is how all posh people drive I am going to be dead by the end of the week.

1 minute later

Out of the vair caringosity of my heart I will donate my brain for scientific type tests. I bet they would be vair fascinated by it, they will run tests to find out things like how can my brain be such a vair loon and the ramble central. **I am so vair offended, you cant see me but I am crying in the corner of Crying Things Because They Are Vair Offended. Pwease apologise to me or my pet platypus Polonius. **Where the hell does my brain up come with things like "Polonius" but seeing as I will have to live with my brain until a least a week I thought I would be vair niceosity and apologise. I am sorry brain's pet platypus Polonius for saying my brain is vair loon and ramble central and would amaze scientific type people. **Polonius accepts your apology. **Oh fabby. **Just so you know he is making that little chirpy noise at you that platypuses make if you know what I mean and I think you do. Well you are vair dim so that noise Perry the Platypus makes on Phineas and Ferb. **Marvy and tres excellence.

5 minutes later

For the lurvee of Pants, this woman has to be chopped and eaten like a chopped and eaten thing. She vair nearly killed me with her vair manic driving. Its vair bad enough she keeps nearly hitting other cars but she had to be a vair bitch of the first waters and have a convertible with the top down. Now add this to the manic driving and guess what nearly happened. Okay I know you will be sitting there for the next gazillions of years trying to guess so I will just tell you.

I nearly fell out of the bloody car, now I know all those Jazzy Spazzy type people out there are thinking "That wouldn't happen if you were wearing a seatbelt". Well just to let them people know I am vair safety conscious type person and I would have had it on but I couldn't bloody find it. Anyway before you Jazzy type people interrupted me and I will forgive you in the interest of world peace and all that jazz. Again before I was interrupted I was saying I nearly fell out of the car if it wasn't for Dave the Laugh's vair marvy reflex and catching skills, he caught me just before I went over the edge. Elizabeth did not even say sorry she just carried on driving like a loon.

1 minute later

Is there no police in this place? They shouldn't let loons like her on the road it could damage minxes, pants, and norma normal people.

1 minute later

I think I am actually going to throw up. Nopey girdey loins! I refuse to be sick and vair ruin my Sex Kittyness. I spent vair long time on my makeup, and its all probably coming off from the vair strong gust of air against my face and hair. That's another thing she's ruined, I may have to sue her. Imagine mascara in the wind splattering those poor innocent people. Its an act filled with vair un-caringosity vair unlike me who is filled with vair caringosity.

Pantaloons House 

Oh for the lurvee of Dave's biscuitosity, the size of this house is bloody freaking ridiculous. You could fit my house in it about 5 times; I know its sounds vair exaggerated but as we all know I vair never exaggerate. As we arrived, like a race car arriving the Pantaloons family were all outside waiting. Gott in himmel and kill me now. The men were all in vair posh suits like Masimo used to wear but he could pull them off unlike these Posh Hobnobs.

1 minute later

The woman were wearing hats and either a blouse or a jumper with a material skirt if you get what I mean and I think you do. As I got out of the car it was all "Oh absolutely divine to meet you my dear" and "Oh do come in dear" and all that vair sickening stuff. They were all over Dave to. Hmm doesn't surprise me, he always was a ladeeez man, I remember at Ro-Ro's parties girls used to run after him with vair little pridosity and digniosity. I have much more pride than that, I used to just accidently snog him. For those who are think I am a tart, they were mostly started by Dave so Muahahahha!

10 seconds later

Oh I wish he would do that now, and then in the spirit of hornosity and snoggosity or out of stupid brain I could tell him how I feel about him. Ho hum pigs bum. Ah if I only I had realised I lurrveed him when we was teenagers when he actually lurved me. Ah I guess Dave is wrong, time does wait for Pants and its vair rude as when I finally realise it Dave decides he is going to marry some vair posh Pantaloons.

1 minute later

Pantaloons mutti said to me:

"So dear, how do you know David" David. Hahaha! I nearly had a laughing spaz, I have never heard anyone call Dave David ever, even his mutti when she was vair angry at him. I think Dave could tell I was trying not to have a laugh spaz and raised his eyebrows at me.

"Well I went to school with him and we have been bestie pallies ever since school" She gave a posh laugh.

"Oh David, your best friend Georgia uses some amusing words don't you think"

"Oh yes, Charlotte they are amusing and a tad odd." Alert Radio Jas airwaves and call the newspapers and the pope to record this amazing thing in the bible! Dave the Laugh talked normally and a teeny weeny bit poshy woshy. Something must be done or his new posh pantsness eaten.

"Erm David can I have a quick word with you?" I still cant get over the whole David thing.

"Of course Georgia. Excuse us a moment" he will seriously have to be eaten if he keeps up this posh pants thing. I dragged him in a vair subtle way out of view and out of hearing of the Pantaloons Posse. I looked at him and said

"Why in the name of Pants and the popes collar are you talking norma normal and posh pants? you never call me Georgia, its always Kittykat, Sex kitty or Gee. Also you are talking without mentioning your camel, the horn, Vikings, your biscuitosity or most known Dave the Laugh trademark Pants!"

"I know your thinking I have gone vair loonosity personified and have lost my laughness but I haven't, I just try to act more norma in front of Elizabeth's family to fit in as they are vair posh."

"Pantaloons family should except you the way you are Davey Boy." Oh _merde! _I didn't mean to say my nickname for Elizabeth out loud. I looked at Dave to see if he was Dave the Un- Laugh or Mr Moody PANTS! but he was being Dave the Laugh and having a laughing spaz. Oh well better than him being vair madosity filled towards _moi_.

"Pantaloon?" he choked out between laughing like a vair loon type person having a laughing attack or spaz.

"Well yeah erm you know because she is a bit on the posh pants side or something" Oh marvy, Ellen will you please remove your voice box from my mouth please?

"Gee I think you may need to tell Ellen to remove her voice box from your mouth. Oh Gee I think your hangover has made you hysterical. Pantaloons! The wubish your brain rambles still amazes me. Still I guess I can allow it as I called Masimo the Handbag Horse and the Italian Homosexualist when you were going out. So even stevens."

"That isn't a load of wubish its vair cleverosity and truthosity. You know when you put on a posh voice you call it Posh Pants! Well pantaloons are what girls used to wear in old days and they look vair posh and because she's posh and upper whatsit it vair fits. See Hornmeister I am so cleverosity filled you cant keep up"

"You keep telling yourself that duckie. Now come on they will be wondering what we have been up to"

"Oo-er" I said as he dragged me away like a dragging thing with the highest dragging award you can get. He is vair strong and muscley. Cor, yummy scrumboes, gorgey porgey and jelloid knickers!

Inside the Pantaloon House

Its vair poshosity in here, I bloody hate it. All oldey fashioned walls and furniture and posh decorations. Vair long staircases too, marvy at least I will be able to stay in shape going up and down them.

1 minute later

Ah merde! I just remembered my suitcases are still in the car I went to go out the door and saw Dave struggling with them. Aaaw bless his little cotton socks he is carrying two already, and no for the dim minxes out there I don't mean bless his actual socks its just a saying. Gadzooks you lot are tiring me out with your confusosity and accusingosity. I went over and helped him with the third one.

1 minute later

Gadzooks! If I carried this up and down the stairs everyday I would be in vair good shape. Ohmygiddygod my nunga-nungas are having a rave! For the dim I mean heaving up and down because they are full of exhaustosity and have arrived in Exhausted Land. I think I may just collapse on the bed when we get to my bedroom which will be in a gazillion years. Ow bloody aggers, my back hurts like billio.

In "my room" a gazillion years later 

I have kept my promise and collapsed on my bed, I cant tell Dave wants to have a laugh spaz at me as I literally crawled to my bed but is too tiredosity filled to have one. Hahaha! Good he shouldn't laugh at his vair bestie pallie wallie.

5 minutes later

Bloody marvy. Not only does my back ache like billio now my bum-oley is in vair gigantibus aggers from where I accidently rolled off my bed. Now I know your thinking how in the name of Pants did she manage that but my brilliantosity excuse is that I had my eyes closed and I was vair near the edge and rolled over and Dave being vair selfishosity decided not to tell his bestie pallie that she was about to roll of the edge. This is the sort of world we live in.

10 minutes later – still on floor 

For the love of the popes reverentosity you would think that in Dave's exhaustingosity state he would of stopped having a laughing spaz but no. Being a biscuit must give him extra energy. Lucky duckie. Hmm its quite vair comfortable down here. As if he been ear wigging my brain Dave pulled me up from my comfortableosity.

5 minutes later

_Merde, sacre bleu, gott in himmel _and poo-osity! All my makeup is vair smudged and my hair looks vair tragicosity and vair windswept. No wonder Pantaloons mutti looked vair surprised, I may just forgive her now but probably not. I got out a face wipe and wiped off all m makeup, forgetting I was with Dave the Laugh.

"Ah _merde! _This will take me squillions of hours to redo" How vair, vair, vair annoying.

"Ah it doesn't matter Kittykat, go without make up, you look beautiful with or without make up"

Aaaw. I looked at Dave and he looked at me. Ah the old snogging fandango again. He had the soft pre snogging look in his eyes that I hadn't seen since we were teenagers. Ohmygiddygod! Was this about to be an accidental snog? I would even settle for that at this present moment.

3 minutes later

Same time Same bat place. Still having a staring fandango with Dave, like two staring things at a staring competition. Then he said

"Well erm I'm going to go downstairs. S'laters Georgia." Ho hum pigs bum.

He called me Georgia. Never marvy. He sounded a teeny bit like Ellen which is also vair never good. Gott in himmel Baby J, why do you confuzzle me so much?

1 minute later

Guess I better throw on some quick makeup, I don't want to scare the Posh Pants and Pantaloons now do I? Well yes it would be rather _tres amusante. _But you know what I mean, and for those people who are thinking no I don't, you do deep down and lets just leave it to I am covering up any possible lurkers and putting make up on.

The kitchen

Walked into the Kitchen and they all went _tres _quiet. What? Why are they all doing the staring fandango at me? Then the Posh Pantaloons spoke.

1 minute later

I cant believe she just asked me that!

**Tad bit shorter than last chappy but was watching a film which was distracting me so I had to end it there (: now anyone who has read Boy fiascos knows I lurvee ending things on cliffys but I wont do too many in this so you don't want to go with you Pants thrust out and eat me. Sorry I think I have got finishing the chappy hysterics. How freaky deaky! My film ended same time I finished the chappy! Wowsa wow. I know your thinking I am vair sad for being amazed by these things and yep I am but vair proud [looking smug] I hope you liked this :) reviews maybe? Go on, you know you want to ;) as you are vair filled with niceosity :) I wuuuuuuvvvvvvv you alllll in non-lezzie way :D xx **


	4. Polonius and My camel Had a War

A/N I don't own the characters, Louise Rennison does :( I own Elizabeth and her family .

Chappy 4, I am lurving this story :D Thank you vair much to **Earth Kid Tree Hugger, jen jen davieees and your eyes forvr glued to mine** for the reviews :) they made me all happy when I was a tad sad :) So vair appreciated :D I feel a bit ill so I might not be able to write this chappie vair quick but I will try :) I don't have that much to ramble on about for once so on with the chappy hope you like it :)

Ouch bloody ouch! My laptop just hit my temple. It's made me go all dizzy. Ah it knocked my ideas out of my head and now they gone off on their camels :( so this going take longer.

Ah I fell asleep for two hours :| that means two hours lost of writing time. Ho hum pigs bum. And my ideas have not come back on their camels, I may need to get out of bed and set out on my own camel to find them. Sorry for rambling, :)

Oh and I have tried writing a Dave POV, if you don't like it sorry and there is chapter 3 after it :D

**Daves POV of chappy 3**

1 minute later

Georgia is doing the staring fandango at Elizabeth. What in the name of my camels hump is she thinking

10 seconds later

Elizabeth is dressed vair posh, Georgia is probably taking the piss out of her as she rambles in her vair loon of a brain. Ho hums pig bums.

1 minute later

"Hello Georgia, I am Elizabeth Dave's fiancé" _Merde! _Ah she is talking like Posh Pants! Georgia is going to bloody hate her.

"Its absolutely spiffing to meet you" then hugged her. Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph. This is vair going badosity, her and Jas don't hug and they are vair nearly bestie pallies, she is going to think she is le freak. May the Pants be with me!

Gazillions and squillions years later

Gadzooks! She has been hugging Kittykat for ages and has only squillions of years later let go and is smiling vair widely which reminds me a ickle teeny weenie bit of Ellen and that is vair scary let me tell you that

I smiled at both of them. Oh jeez Georgia looks vair gorgey. So is Elizabeth. I felt big lurvee for both of them. How lucky is the biscuit to have to Sex Kitty's? Vair lucky if you didn't know.

"Well you two why don't we hit the road" Oh god, Gee is going to be vair shockedosity that I spoke like a norma normal person. Marvy now Sherlock Nicolson will be tip top suspiciosity wise.

10 minutes later

Gott in himmel! Gee really will hate her now! Elizabeth just nearly killed her if it wasn't for the biscuits i.e. me for those dim pallies marvy reflexes she would be a splattered Kittykat which would be vair scary bananaosity.

1 minute later

I reckon she should donate her brain for scientific type tests. I bet they would be vair fascinated by it, they will run tests to find out things like how her brain can be a ramble central and vair crasyosity. **Dave, you are vair rude to Gee. **Shut up brain! **Pwease apologise to me or my Cameron the Camel or Harry the Horn for your rudeness or they will never talk to you again and your camel will never let you ride on it again.** Ah I cant believe the Biscuit has to live with a brain like this but I am sorry Cameron the Camel. **He accepts your apology. **Oh marvy

5 minutes later

For the lurvee of Pants, Gees hair is vair, vair windswept and _tres amusante! _Hahaha I bet she is going vair annoyedosity central in her brain. Ooooh someone has messed up her hair. She is going to be vair pissed.

1 minute later

I know I lurvee Elizabeth and everything but is there no police in this place? She is driving at vair quicky speedy thing. I think she is showing of in front of Gee, well I'l tell you this Kittykat don't look impressed she looks like she wants to eat her. Ho hums pigs bum

Elizabeth's House 

Oh for the lurvee of my biscuitosity, Elizabeth's driving is vair loonosity, as we arrived, like a race car arriving the Pantaloons family were all outside waiting. Gott in himmel and kill me now because Gee is going to kill me for bringing her here. Elizabeth's family are all dressed like vair, vair posh. Marvy.

1 minute later

As we got out of the car, they were all "Oh absolutely divine to meet you my dear" and "Oh do come in dear" and all that to Gee. They were all over the biscuit to. Hmm doesn't surprise me, I always have been a ladeeez biscuit, that's why Gee could never resist our accidental snogs. No get out of my head accidental snogs! I am engaged to Elizabeth now! I got to stop thinking about them!

10 seconds later

Ah but in the spirit of hornosity they are okay! No they are not brain now shh!

1 minute later

Elizabeth's mutti said to Georgia:

"So dear, how do you know David" David. _Merde! _Gee is going to take the piss for the next gazillion years. I looked at her and I could tell she was trying not to have a laugh spaz and raised my eyebrows at me and no you fules on a donkey I didn't lift them with my hand.

"Well I went to school with him and we have been bestie pallies ever since school" Elizabeth's mutti gave a posh laugh. What's funny about that? I am vair confuzzled

"Oh David, your best friend Georgia uses some amusing words don't you think"

"Oh yes, Charlotte they are amusing and a tad odd." Oh no! Gee is going to alert Radio Jas that Dave the Laugh who known for his biscuitosity and vair groovy gravy words is talking vair norma normal and almost verging on posh.

"Erm David can I have a quick word with you?" Woah! She can actually talk norma I was nearly speechless with shockosity.

"Of course Georgia. Excuse us a moment" she is going to eat me. She dragged me in a vair un subtle way out of view then I looked at me like a looking thing and said

"Why in the name of Pants and the popes collar are you talking norma normal and posh pants? you never call me Georgia, its always Kittykat, Sex kitty or Gee. Also you are talking without mentioning your camel, the horn, Vikings, your biscuitosity or most known Dave the Laugh trademark Pants!" She has gone even vair more loonosity central.

"I know your thinking I have gone vair loonosity personified and have lost my laughness but I haven't, I just try to act more norma in front of Elizabeth's family to fit in as they are vair posh."

"Pantaloons family should except you the way you are Davey Boy." Hahahahahahaha! Pantaloons? Where in the name of pantibus's goat did her fule of a brain come up with that? _Tres amusante_ though! I know I should be vair madosity that she has a nickname like that for Elizabeth but it was vair too funny to worry about that.

"Pantaloon?" I choked out between laughing like a vair loon type person having a laughing attack or spaz.

"Well yeah erm you know because she is a bit on the posh pants side or something"

"Gee I think you may need to tell Ellen to remove her voice box from your mouth. Oh Gee I think your hangover has made you hysterical. Pantaloons! The wubish your brain rambles still amazes me. Still I guess I can allow it as I called Masimo the Handbag Horse and the Italian Homosexualist when you were going out. So even stevens."

"That isn't a load of wubish its vair cleverosity and truthosity. You know when you put on a posh voice you call it Posh Pants! Well pantaloons are what girls used to wear in old days and they look vair posh and because she's posh and upper whatsit it vair fits. See Hornmeister I am so cleverosity filled you cant keep up"

"You keep telling yourself that duckie. Now come on they will be wondering what we have been up to"

"Oo-er" she said as I dragged her along like a dragging person dragging someone.

Inside Elizabeth's House

1 minute later

Ah merde! I just remembered her suitcases are still in the car and being the Dave le Gentleman I went out the door and got her suitcases. Bloody hell? Why in the name of Cameron the Camels poo does she have three suitcases? As I was struggling through the door, carrying two suitcases and pushing one with my feet Gee saw me and came over and helped me with the third one. Thank you Gee, I will get my camel to worship her feet.

1 minute later

Oh why did I have to be a gentleman? Ow bloody aggers, my back hurts like billio. I think I may flop on her bed like a flopped out flopping thing. Oh even in hurtosity I can somehow make creativosity and _amusante_.

In Gee's room a gazillion years later 

Ah! How bloody rudey dudey! Gee has flopped on her bed, how dare she flop on her own bed when I wanted to flop on it. I have to say though she looks vair _tres amusante _crawling onto her bed. Girdey loins Dave! Don't have a laughing spaz! You don't have the energy.

5 minutes later

Ohmygiddygod! She just fell of the bed! I couldn't keep in my laughing spaz this time. Ouch! The floor didn't take kindly to me falling on it and punched my bum-oley. Ah but it just added to the amusingosity of the fandango. Calling lips! Stop laughing.

10 minutes later – still on floor 

For the love of camels and horns, you would think In my tragic state I wouldn't have the energy to have a laughing spaz for that long. Ooh this is so uncomfortable. I was Dave the Gentleman and helped Gee up but she looked vair annoyedosity, the loon probably thought it was comfortable down there.

5 minutes later

"Ah _merde! _This will take me squillions of hours to redo" What is it with girls and their makeup? She looks beautiful without it.

"Ah it doesn't matter Kittykat, go without make up, you look beautiful with or without make up"

_Merde!_ My lips had accidently said what my stupid brain says . I looked at her and she looked at me. Ah the old snogging fandango again. He had the soft pre snogging look in his eyes that I hadn't seen since we were teenagers. Ohmygiddygod! Was this about to be an accidental snog? I would even settle for that at this present moment.

3 minutes later

Same time Same bat place. Still having a staring fandango Gee, like two staring things at a staring competition. Then he said

"Well erm I'm going to go downstairs. S'laters Georgia." Ho hum pigs bum. Why did I say that?

I called her Georgia, she is going to think I am vair pissed of now. Ah I never win, this is the sort of world we live in.

The kitchen

I cant believe Elizabeth just asked me what Gee would say if she asked her to be her made of honour. She would say no of course, but I couldn't say that or I would have to say Gee hates her.

1 minute later

Here comes Gee, May the Pants be me and my camel to guide me through this fandango.

2 minutes later

I can't believe she said yes!

**Chapter 4 – Polonius and my camel got into a war**

1 minute later

Ohmygiddygod! What am I supposed to say to that? I can't believe she asked me that? Why is it some sort of super cleverosity plan against moi?

10 seconds later

The Pantaloons asked me to be the maid of honour! Moi be her made of honour? Its vair crasyosity and loonosity filled idea. Besides the fact that I vair hate her like old Mr Next Door hated Angus but the made of honour has to be vair helpful to the bride. Ho hums pig bums. What do I say? All the pantaloons family are doing the staring fandango at me.

10 seconds later 

"Erm yes okay I will be your made of honour" The Pantaloon family all cheered and hugged me like vair loony hugging things. Erlack! They have touched me! I will need to be disinfected with Holly Water and then have gazillion of years in the bath. Oh for the love of Old Herr Kaymer's Germanosity why did I ever agree to this?

1 minute later

I know all you people in this vair loon of a world are thinking" quick get out the camel, Georgia's lost her brain, lets go find it; who knows what chaos it will do to us poor norma normal people". But there is vair logic to this fandango which is:

Number one: By being her made of honour, I can do that "keep your friends close and your enemy's closer" fandango. So for the vair dim or slightly confuzzled, I can find out a load of things that can help me break up marriage. I hope anyway

Number 2: By being a vair marvy actress and looking like I am vair matey type mates with the Pantaloon, Dave won't get suspicious

Number 3: When Dave sees me trying on my bridesmaid dress he will see how much of a Sex Kitty I am and say "oh Sex Kitty lets run away on my camel together" Muahahahha! I think I have hysterics!

1 minute later

Ah for those people out there who are thinking "Ohmygiddygod? Carry on the search; use the pants to find the way to Georgia's brain and lasso it and tie it to the camel", you are actually the loons if you can't see the vair cleverosity of _moi's _plan. It is such a geniusosity plan that the top geniusosity brains in the world can't understand it. I feel vair sorry for those poor dim brains. Ah see I am so vair niceosity explaining it to you poor dim pallies and have vair sympathetiosity for you. Although I have to admit I am vair wishing like a wishing person that I hadn't said yes as all her family are either trying to kill me by smothering me like smothering things on smothering pills or on "so happy I have to hug Georgia vair tighty tight" drugs. Ho hums pigs bum.

1 minute later

I managed to finally get a sneaky sneak look at Davey Boy, over the vair posh hats and big baldy eggheads and he looked vair Dave the Un Laugh, I know he isn't acting like Dave the Laugh in front of these Posh Eggs and Hats but he still looks like Dave the Laugh if you get what I mean and I think you do and if you don't well, you just don't. He looked more like Dave the Thoughtful Person. He was looking at me and Pantaloons in a vair weird way that I can't figure out with all my cleverosity that proves it must have been a vair confusingosity look if even my super duper cleverosity can't figure it out.

10 second later

Oh damn, Davey boy has just caught me having a staring fandango at him. He will probably think I am a staring freak of a fule. Bloody marvy matey.

1 second later

_Merci_ Our Ex Lord Sandra now back to Our Lord Jesus! He grinned at me and then came over and gave me a hug like a hugging type person. Mmm. I have really missed his hugs, I could actually melt right into him right now like a piece of chocolate over a candle that was lit or something with flames. No girdey loins bones! We shall not melt as we might give ourselves away, and no I don't actually mean give ourselves to someone I mean people might figure out that I lurvee Dave. Then my whole gigantibus plan will be ruined. **You don't have a dream lovie dove. **That's beside the point brain, ah you focus on the ickle details vair too much. **Sure Georgia, you keep telling yourself that deary. **I will, thank you vair much.

10 seconds later

Dave whispered in my ear, nearly making my loins ungird "Thank you Gee, she was really nervous about asking you."

"Why?"

"Well she thought you would say no as you hardly know each other"

"Ah everyone knows I am vair filled with to much caringosity to do that"

Muhahaha! Good answer brain! **Thank you, you have made me blush like a blushing thing blushing. **For once your vair welcome. Oh dear Our God Vati in the sky or Baby Jesus's dad for those slightly confuzzled. Gott in himmel no-one can understand my cleverosity these days :( Tis a vair tedious task explaining to you easily confuzzled people. I said "tis". Ah the Poshness has gotten to my lips. I need to remove the poshness immediately.

1 minute later

Removing poshness is vair hard to do when you surrounded by Posh Pants, Pantaloons and Baldy Eggheads. I think I may die in a minute. Hmm what an interesting headline :

"Georgia Nicolson was killed yesterday by being smothered by Pantaloons and Baldy Eggheads." Ah the creativeosity that happens in my brain is amazing, it's like Creativeosity Central. I am vair nearly proud of my brain. Nearly.

5 minutes 

Just when I thought I might have to succumb to suffocation, Dave pulled me out of the crowd and said "Okay, let Georgia breathe". Thank you Hornmeister, this is why I lurvee you. Well I would lurvee him more if he just talked like his Norma normal self then he would be a vair purrfect biscuit.

"Oh Georgia, seeing as you are know the made of honour there are a few errands I need you to do with me in an hour" bloody cheek!

"Oh yes, of course Elizabeth" an answer that makes sense? I have spent too much time with these posh types. Oh deary, I hope I don't become posh, the Ace Gang well more likely Ro-Ro will disown me. Waah!

10 minutes later

After a gazillion years worth of me trying to talk normal and having tea and scones and all those posh things posh pantaloons, pants and baldy eggy egg heads think are vair norma normal, I finally escaped and headed to the safe norma normalosity of my room. Ohmygiddygiddygod! That was one long day.

First: I get attacked by pantaloons at the airport

Then: I nearly get killed by a maniac driver called Pantaloons

Then: I get attacked by Pantaloons family

After that: I nearly kill myself going up the stairs.

Then: Me and Dave had an awkward moment

Then: I get asked to be a bloody made of honour for Pantaloons who I hate.

Then: I get attacked again.

Gadzooks! You would think all that would make me vair Moaning Central and traumatised but no I am just vair amazingosity. And people say I think too much of myself, obviously those people are vair loons who doesn't actually know what bighead-ness is as it blates isn't me of coursey.

1 minute later

Oh god, Dave looked vair gorgey

1 minute later

I am so exhaustosity filled, I may have to take an ickle nap…zzzz

1 hour later

Hmm why in the name of Pantaloons Mutti's Hat is there so much banging? Has my brains pet platypus Polonius and my camel got into a war and are canon balling camel poo and platypus eggs at each other? If they are, Brain will you pwease tell them to stop it or move it to a desert or something. **It's not them, your camel is sleeping and so is my platypus. **Who in the name of pants is making that noise then when I am trying to sleep? **Open your eyes and see if you can figure it out genius. **That was vair rudey brain, but as you have been turning up trumps in the cleverosity department I will do as you say. Opening eyes… oh someone is knocking on the door. Typico. Why cant they leave me to my ickle wickle nap for the lurvee of Baby Jesus's sandals with socks? **Dear Georgia, this is Baby Jesus, just to let you know I have updated from those times and now wear trainers and white socks. Tatty bye! **Ohmygiddygod! Jesus talked to me! I bet all those vair religious and reverentosity people are way jealous! **This you brain and erm lovie dove? **Yes brain? **That was me pretending to be Jesus. **I cant believe it! I am so hurt brain, I am not speaking to you for gazillions of years. **Im sorry. **You are not forgiven.

1 minute later

Ah will they stop? I am bloody coming as I just told whoever the person is who vair is disturbing my much deserved and needed sleepy time. Ah it was vair badosity filled idea to look in the mirror. I look like _merde _warmed up which even the dim should no is vair bad. Oh marvy, now when I open the door they will run off on their camel screaming in scaredosity and then it would have been no use getting up. This is a scary example of the world we live in these days. Its vair scary bananas. I amazed I am still the vair norma normal person I am considering the things I have to put up with and the scary bananaosity world I live in. I am like a saint or something.

1 minute later

I finally opened the door and there was Elizabeth standing there with purrfect hair and makeup. Ah I really hate her.

"Oh Georgia did you fall asleep? Well you have ten minutes to get ready. Chop chop!" and went of. Bloody posh twat. Ten minutes to redo hair and makeup! Bloody vair impossible! Bloody bitch!

1 minute later

I have nine minutes to do makeup and hair, I will have to keep it to the minimum so:

Hair put in ponytail

Eyeliner

Mascara

Eye shadow

Foundation

Concealer

Bronzer

Lippy

Lip gloss

Vair minimum if you ask me. Well my hair is put in ponytail so that's one thing off. Ah this is bloody torture rushing my makeup like a rushing thing rushing!

8 minutes later

Yes! Yes! And thrice Yes! I have somehow managed to do all my makeup and hair in 9 minutes. I should get a bloody award for this, I am vair amazingly amazing. I must amaze people if I amaze myself.

1 minute later 

I got downstairs exactly on time and Elizabeth goes "Come on Georgia, we are awfully late" then snogged Dave goodbye right in front of me. I am going to eat her, actually no I don't want to eat a posh meal like that I will just shoot her or shove her pantaloons in her Pantaloon mouth that will shut her up and get rid of her at same time. Purrfect! Better not do it while she is still with me as Dave will attack me with his camel! Then I would never be able to get on it with him. Ah ho hums pig bums.

In a maniac's car 

Ah I am being killed again. What is with posh Pants and Pantaloons and trying to kill or attack me? It makes me feel vair victimised, which I vair am. Oh I have a vair tedious life, I am vair mistreated but yet I still have creativosity and be funosity central.

1 minute later

Oh for the love of pantibus's god's vati, this place looks like Posh Central. _Merde!_

1 minute later

Ah I cant believe she just did that, Ohmygiddygod I may actually die in a sec.

**Yes! This took forever to write. I was going to have Daves POV as a separate chappy but I thought you might actually kill me. That's why it took so long as I had to write both. Phew I am exhausted, its 5 to 2. Me, mutti and my sister were up watching a bout 6 episodes of Lion Man, that is the cutest show ever. I lurvee it (: almost as much as Dave, writing this fanfic and all you marvy readers and reviewers :D Wuuv you in non – lezzie way. Reviews maybe? ;) sorry for any grammer mistakes but i was so tired and just wanted to get it finished. (:**


	5. You Gigantibus Nincompoop

**A/N I don't own the characters as you know, Louise Rennison :( I only own the ones I made up like Elizabeth and her family **

**Well I am not sure how this is chappy is going to turn out yet I am just going to type out what cleverosity arrives in my brain. God help me :) **

**Btw sorry for the two week maybe more wait on this, it may take vair long to write this as I am supposed to be revising, I am watching sonny with a chance which I lurvee :) and have to babysit again in a bit. But they have internet there so I can bring my laptop and carry on or/and update :D**

**Ah the bit above was written a few days ago and I ended up babysitting for 6 hours :| and I spent one and a half of those hours trying to get a brush out of my cousins hair. Fun. **

**Oh and btw updates will start getting quicker I hope as I now only have 2 exams left this week :) anyway onto the story, not sure where this is going to go just yet..:)**

1 minute later

Ohmygiddygod! I think I am going to die, seriously no exaggerating I am vair claustrophobic and Elizabeth the renowned Posh Twat Pantaloons has pressed that stop button that stops the elevator from moving. It's just me and her. In one teeny weeny elevator. Oh Lord, I do not want to die by being smothered by Pantaloons!

10 minutes later

"Elizabeth... please…" I know what you're thinking, is she torturing Gee with her Pantaloonosity? Why was I begging Elizabeth? I wasn't, I just couldn't get my breath out. Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! I am hyperventilating; this is vair not in the Universe of Vair Good Things more on the list of "Things that have traumatised me in my vair badosity life that I can't afford therapy yet".

"Calm down Georgia, I am not doing anything to you"

"I'm really…claustrophobic"

"Sorry, but this is the only private place to talk."

"About…wha…t" ohmygod this is vair getting worse.

"Dave. I know you have been best friends for a long time. I know that he used to love you, and now I think you have fallen for him as the typical best friends in love situation where it's all fairytales and smiles. Well it's not Georgia, he loves me not you. You waited to long, and if you plan to break us up you will regret it, I know a lot of people."

"Oh my God! You know nothing about me so don't go round talking shit about me, and he may thinks he loves you but you aren't the right person for him. He's a laugh, laid back, got a great personality and has a major ego about himself being a Biscuit. You're just a posh twat that seduced him with your money and fancy stuff. And oooh! I am so scared of you, almost as much as I am of your hats."

"Look Georgia you and I can stand here and insult each other but I am getting married to your best friend in a couple days and there is nothing you can do about it. So put a smile on your face and make it look like we have a perfect bride and Maid of Honour relationship."

"That's something else, why did you ask me to be Maid of Honour?"

"That doesn't concern you."

And turned her back to me, my camel was making a face at her and trying to spit at her as I leaned on the lift doors which suddenly opened and I somehow twisted in mid air and landed face first onto the floor. Bloody marvy and owwy oww aggers! Bloody bitch of the first pantaloons! She did that on purpose to embarrass me! But of course she looks like innocent twit helping me up and everything. Oh Lord why do you still hate me?

1 minute later

Kill me now, there is even more of these posh twats than Pantaloons family and they are all "How do you do?" and "Absolutely spiffing my dear". What did I do to deserve this? Okay maybe I was trying to break up "lurve" but it was for the good of mankind. **And how would that be genius? **If they stay together Pantaloons and Posh Hob Knobs will take over the world, changing all Laughs to Stiffs and making the whole into one big tea party. So really I am spreading my caringosity over the world, if it happens to benefit me then super duper times a gazillion.

1 minute later

Oh for the love of duckbilled lost platypuses that look like girls, I think I am going to be made to have "tea" with them. All little cups, pinkies in the air, cups on saucers and having little scones that doesn't fill anyone up, they just make you crave McDonalds. If after all this torture I don't get Dave as my horn partner I may have to kill myself as I cannot afford the therapy I am going to need from this tragic experience. Getting Dave as my horn partner would make it all groovy gravy again.

10 minutes later

Yes! No tea and scones for this Sex Kitty! The downside is the only reason I am getting out of it is that we are going shopping for my dress. Damn. I bet you're all thinking "Quick! Get out the camel and send Gee to the hospital she has lost her marbles!" No I haven't for all you out their filled with marvy gigantibus amounts of caringosity for me, I just know she is going to make me wear a crappy horrible dress.

1 minute later

See? I am Mystic Georgia (I know not the same effect but I don't want to be called Meg). I know what she is going to do. **Doesn't take a genius to figure it out. **Brain! I am ashamed at you! How dare you be this meanie weenie to me? I am frozen with shockosity! Now apologise to me. **If I do will you shut up whining at me? **Yes. **I am sorry. **So you should be, and by the way brain I have a pair of pants to pick with you. Oo-er! But seriously, what where you thinking letting me go without slapping her? **I thought you weren't going to whine! And it will help out in the long run and I don't think Davey boy would be impressed if you slapped his fiancé do you?** Shut up. **You're welcome. **

5 minutes later

Marvy. I am once again taking the risk of losing my life again. I.e. I am in Elizabeth's car for those vair confuzzled. Oh God, I may be sick, that sick army is marching up my throat. Muahahaha! I beat them; they have gone sliding back down. Gee Nicolson fights the urge to be sick! Is there anything I can't do? **Yes. **Shut up brain! That was a rhetorical question. **Ooh big word! I am impressed. **I thought you would be.

A gazillion years later

After many torturous hours of Pantaloons' mad driving she finally stopped and pulled over outside a dress shop. Thank you Baby J, I am vair grateful to you right now. She pushed me out of the way on the way into the shop as if she was better than me. Ha! More like she has her nose so far in the air she can't see that she's a twat and that there are better people beneath it. And no! I am not talking about bogey people I am talking about me. I am better than her but she can't see that as her nose is so high up in the air. Seriously! Why would you do that, I mean you're so much more likely to offend a wall, if you get what I mean and if you don't I am too tiredosity filled to explain it.

10 minutes later

Bloody bitch of the first water! She is picking out vair ugly old fashioned dresses for me! The cheek! She isn't even asking me if I like them and anybody could tell that I am supposed to say of course or no way to the dresses she chooses as I have to wear the thing. Ah! I refuse to wear any of the ones she's picked out so far. I will text Masimo and ask him if the Maid of Honour can refuse to the wear the dress the bride picks; he knows these sort of things. How I don't know and to be vair honest I don't want to.

1 minute later

Damn! Apparently you have to wear it! _(A/N I don't know if this is true but I needed it to make this work)_

5 minutes later

Her Royal Pantaloons has finally chosen a dress for me to be tortured like a tortured thing being tortured to wear. Boo-hoo! This vair not fair! What have I done to deserve this? **I will be happy to list them.** Not now brain, I am trying to think of bad things I've done so I can apologise to God, so suggestions would be helpful. **Why do I bother? **

10 minutes later

EW, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! **For once I agree. **See? If my brain agrees with me you know it's vair truth. This dress is bloody horrible! It's all yellow, frilly and puffy. It looks like someone threw up sunshine mixed with sick all over and old fashioned dress from before Baby J was born. I.e. vair, vair, vair old. I hate this posh bitch! How dare she inflict this torture on _moi! _She may end up having to pay for my therapy if my super duper secret plan doesn't work. **What is your plan? **I told you its super duper secret. **So you don't have one? **Si.

"You have got to be kidding me?" Brain! We were supposed to be keeping that quiet you gigantibus nincompoop!

"No I am not, you have to wear this dress because I am the bride and what I says goes, so stop your immature whining and start twirling." I couldn't come up with anything to say quick enough so I just glared at her while I twirled. I heard the door bell above the door ring as someone came in the door. I looked over to see what poor person had to see this torture. It's almost as bad as being the one put through it.

10 seconds later

Crap! It's Dave. He just stood there looking at me like an amused looking thing. I could tell he was trying to not to have a laughing spaz. He looked vair weird and loonosity faced. He somehow managed not to laugh and walked over to Elizabeth and gave her a kiss. Ew! Like I need that in my head! That is vair disgusting. He looked at me and said:

"You look erm…nice... in that dress." Ooh liar! He is either so whipped he will just agree with her or he was trying to be vair niceosity and try and make me feel better about the tragicosity of the "dress".

"Thanks" I said while I giving him a look of wisdomosity, cleverosity and evilosity. He can't fool me. He was trying not to laugh at moi again as I looked like angry, frilly sick. He has vair good willpower nowadays, vair strange but I am guessing when you're surrounded by Posh Hob Knobs, Pants and Pantaloons you have to fight not to call them a Posh Pant Twat. Trust me I have wanted to loads of times already and it's just the first day. Oh God help me! Seriously God please help me! I promise I will be unselfishosity and vair goody two shoes. That's vair reasonable if you ask me.

1 minute later

Yes! I finally get to get out of this road kill dress. Yes! I am once again a Sex Kitty!

2 minutes later

Oh God! I nearly had a heart attack; I jumped about 10 feet in the air. Just as I had taken my dress off there was a knock on the door and then it opened. I squealed and jumped as Dave walked in. He looked shockedosity for a moment then grinned at me as I was trying to cover myself up with my t-shirt.

"Gee, don't worry about it, it's nothing I haven't seen" I blushed as I remembered the night on holiday where we slept with each other.

"Right, what are you doing in here?"

"Oh, I was just coming to check that you weren't too upset with the road kill you got stuck with, I know its bad but it fits in with her theme" He looked at me apologetically.

"Silly Davey. I am vair too maturosity filled to cry over that," he looked at me and we both started laughing. No matter how vair ancient I get I will still never be vair mature. As we were both laughing like loons Dave suddenly stopped and looked at me for a few moments before leaning in and snogging me!

10 seconds later

Phwoar! He is just as good at snogging as I remember, he is doing nip libbling! Thank you God! Ohmygiddygod! This is going in an upwards way on the snogging scale if you get what I mean especially with me in just my underwear. Just as our snogs where getting more passionate the door opened. Shit!

**Okay so this is a page or 2 shorter than usual :( I know your thinking tut tut but I had big writers block. My poor poor beta Earth Kid Tree Hugger, she has been waiting over two weeks for me to send her this. Vair sorry for that. I have had a lot of exams, babysitting and friend issues that have prevented me from writing. Also been writing for Sonny with a Chance fanfiction bit and I am watching it now! Hope you liked it! Cant say exactly when next update will be as I may be vair busy. Anyway hit the review button if you liked it, Thankyou :) loveyou all in a vair non-lezzie type way. **


	6. Murdered by Pantaloons

A**/n I don't own the characters, Louise Rennison does :( I only own the ones I made up like Elizabeth and her family. :) **

**Sorry for long wait on this a lot has been going on in my life right now, so have been a little distracted. I went to a Take That concert yesterday :) it was amazing :)**

**Special thank you to my awesome beta Earth Kid Tree Hugger, she is very patient with me when I take ages on chappies and gave me my first ever review on my first story on here :D Also thanks to her for listening to me moan on about an idiot. **

1 second later

Merde! We are going to be in so much horn/camel merde. We looked at each other. The person who came through the door had stopped before he/she had fully come through the door to talk to someone else. So as speedy as speedy whatsit I crammed on my top and shorts I had worn under the vair horrible dress.

10 seconds later

Ohmygiddygod! He has the worst timing ever! Just as I had finished getting dressed, vair speedy as a speedy whatsit on speedy tablets that I think deserves a medal for but this is the selfishosity of the world we live in. Anyway before my brain went off to ramble land, Masimo came through the door! He looked at me and grinned. Ah _merde_! he had obviously seen what was happening before. Davey looked vair angerosity central. Ooooh camel fight!

"What are you doing here?" Dave asked not in a vair Dave the Laugh sort of way.

"I came to see the amazing Georgia" Masimo said while winking at me. I had to stop myself from giggling like a twerp.

"Why?"

"Can't a man see his girlfriend?"

Ah I wish I had a camera for that moment; Dave's face did the classic goldfish that always comes to stay on my face. It lurvees embarringosity filling me; it's vair _gut_ pallies with Jazzy Spazzy for the same reason. I.e. for those confuzzled out there: they both lurvee embarringosity filling moi. Anyway so there was Dave doing the vair famous goldfish expression, Masimo grinning at moi and moi trying not to giggle like a twerp on giggling twerp tablets.

5 minutes later

Dave asked us about a gazillion of questions before he finally shut up. Gadzooks I didn't know there was so many questions in that vair weirdo brain of his. Bet his brain would be vair _tres amusante_ and freaky deaky place to be in.

1 minute later

Oh marvy, could this get any better? Pantaloons just walked in. It must have been a vair funny and confuzzling sight in her eyes: Her fiancé Dave looking vair angrily at Masimo, Masimo, this new vair gorgey person she didn't know winking and grinning at me and moi smiling like _le_ idiot _et_ fule.

"Erm David darling, could you please explain?" Masimo and I had to look away from each other when she said that; he had never heard someone call Dave, "David". Oh giddygodspyjamas my poor stomach is going to be in vair aggers later from all the unheard laughing spazzes.

"This is Masimo, Georgia's boyfriend." Dave said back to her still giving Masimo vair madosity evils.

"Oh. It's great to meet you." She said to Masimo shaking his hand. While they were talking like talking things in a Who Can Talk The Most Competition. I looked over at the Biscuit. Ah _merde_! He doesn't look too happy with moi.

5 minutes later

Pantaloons and Masimo went cheerily off, practically skipping. Gadzooks! That scared me a teeny bit! I was left with just Dave, who still looked vair angry with me. Marvy, I can sense with my Mystic Meg skills that this isn't going to go well.

"What in the name of my super duper vair coolio Flying Pants is all this about Gee? Why didn't you tell me you were going out with the Handbag Horse? Actually, why are you going out with him?"

"Why do you think I am going out him you fule? I lurrvee him obviously. And while we are talking about this, I didn't question you when I found out you were going out with Elizabeth! And that is vair worse then me going out with Masimo. I didn't tell you because I knew you would go ballisticimus" (a/n probably spelt wrong, sorry!)

"How is it worse?"

"Dave, she is so different from you! She talks like posh pants so you do to when you're around her! You shouldn't have to change for her!"

"I lurve her, and its my choice to talk like that, it makes her more comfortable," there was a silent fandango between us until Dave broke it by saying:

"Look I am sorry for going off at you like a going off thing set off, I was just vair shocked as an agog to see Masimo after all these years. I vair thought he would have discovered his inner handbag. Gee, about our accidental snog. I think its best if we never mention it again, it was a mistake"

I was as shocked as an shocked agog in Agog Land that he said that. We have had plenty of accidental snogs and even number 10'ed once but he has never said it was a mistake. Tear drops were marching up to my eyes as speedy as speedy whatsit so I quickly looked away from him and said:

"Fine." See that's how vair upset I was, I didn't even use my norma-normal creativeosity words to reply. I walked out but heard him trying to follow so I ran off. I heard him shout "What's wrong Gee?" but I _ignorez-vous_ed him.

10 minutes later

Oh Baby J, kill me now! I am vair serious. I have been standing with the Pantaloon and her family for a gazillion years. They have all been asking vair many questions about me and Masimo. He stood there with his arm around me, playing his part vair well. I heard footsteps and looked at Masimo. I could tell he had heard them too, we both knew Dave was the only one not here and he knew what Dave had just said so he whispered: "Sorry for this" and then snogged me.

5 seconds later

He is just as good as snogging as before. But it isn't making me turn in vegetable girl like before also some of the _je ne sais quoi_ was gone. It wasn't the same feeling I got when Dave was snogging me. Get out of my head Dave!

5 minutes later

Oh jeez I need to breath. I broke away from Masimo and he grinned at me. Dave was staring at moi with a mix of angerosity and surprised agogness. Muhahaha! We are _les_ geniuses!

Dave's POV

Bloody stupid handbag horse! Why does he always ruin my life? He has got Gee again. How can she fall for his handbag antics again? Everybody is saying to me "Aw isn't that the sweetest thing?" No it's bloody not; time to step up my plan.

Gee's Pov

Okay, I am guessing that you are getting vair annoyedosity at moi for not telling you what's going on. My Mystic Meg skills are telling me you are thinking: "Hold your pants! Why in the name of Gee's obsession with Platypuses is she going out with Masimo? Isn't he on the gay side of the handbag?" Well one I don't have an obsession with platypus you cheeky minxes, and two it's all part of my marvy plan. I know no you are all shocked as agogs that I actually have a plan; well you are vair rude and cheeky minxes. Of course Gee Nicolson, cleverosity central would have a vair cleverosity plan anyway here is mine and Masimo's plan:

Pretend Masimo is straight and my horn partner to make Dave jealous and realise that he lurvees me.

Vair amazingosity if you ask me!

3 hours later

_Merde_! I am late for dinner! Great, I am going to be murdered by pantaloons! I knew three hours to have a shower, pick an outfit, do makeup and beautify my already gorgey self wouldn't be enough time and once again my cleverosity was right. It always is!

5 minute later

Finally got down there and I had about gazillion posh eyes doing the staring fandango at moi. Cor luck a duck! Some of those stares are scaaaaary. I said:

"Sorry for being late, I had a nap and overslept"

"It's okay dear" Mrs Pantaloons said.

"Yeah, everyone needs their beauty sleep, well you not so much," Masimo said, winking at me. The ladies (Hahahahahahahaha) all aww-ed. He got up and pulled out my chair for me. God, I feel like a bloody duchess or something.

Dave's POV

Oh my Biscuit! The bloody Handbag Horse stole the bloody words out of my marvy mouth! Well I wouldn't have been able to say them as Elizabeth probably wouldn't be vair happyosity but still it's vair rude, what a cheeky handbag.

Gee's POV

I have to say Masimo is as vair marvy at acting as I am. He plays his part vair well. Dave looked like he was vair annoyedosity central! Yes, yes and trice yes!

No-ones POV

As there was loads of talking in the room everyone heard:

"Its over!"

Dave, Georgia, Elizabeth, Masimo, Mrs Pantaloon and Mr Pantaloons were all out of the room. So who shouted it?

**Finally! That took ages to write and its vair shorter than the other ones :( but there should be more in the next chapter :') hope you liked it! Review please :) **


	7. Flying pants and Camels

**A/N I don't own the characters. :( Only the ones I made up which you know :D**

**Thank you vair much to all who have read, reviewed, subscribed and put this story in their favs. I haven't watched the film I am basing it on in ages so I am forgetting some of the things I wanted to include so may take longer to think of things to write. Although I have the major plot and last chapter planned so they should be quick to write. **

**I am dedicating this story to ****Earth Kid Tree Hugger****, who has inspired me, helped me out with chapters and problems and been a vair fabby pallie. She is a vair good author, vair talented. Check out her stories they are fabby like "Fangs for the snogs", "****And By Girl I Mean Masimo Scarlotti", "Official girlfriend to Dave the Tart" and "Dave's Songs" which is so vair funny as it is written mostly by Dave the Laugh :L. or I will set Masimo on you to attack you with his handbag and matching Pradas :) **

2 seconds later – Gee's POV

Yes everyone heard that!

1 second later – Dave's POV

Shit! Everyone heard that. Now they are going to think I am breaking up with Elizabeth, which I am not.

1 second later- Elizabeth's POV

Oh this is bloody great. Now they think we are breaking up which we are not! This is so not part of the plan.

"Great job Dave now everyone heard and no it's not over and you know it" then we both started walking out of the door.

1 second later – Masimo's POV

Yes! Plan is working perfectly!

1 second later - Mrs Pantaloons POV

Golly gosh! They are going to think we are arguing! I shudder at the thought. Oh dearie me, this might ruin the plan.

1 second later – Mr Pantaloon POV

Oh pants! This may ruin the plan.

No-ones POV

All the people in the room stopped talking after they heard that shout. Hmm it sounded like more than one person saying it. But Georgia, Dave/David, Masimo, Elizabeth and Elizabeth's parents were all out of the room so it could have been any one of them or more than one. They all came into the kitchen and there was a long silence along with confused stares.

Gee's POV 

For the love of Pants will the posh eggs and pants stop doing the staring fandango at us, its vair annoying especially when it's with its friend "Silence fandango". Then some posh man with a baldy egg head like old Uncle Eddie's said:

"Could I inquire as to who said "it's over" as it sounded like a relationship had just ended"

"I said it" Dave, Masimo, Mrs Pantaloons and I all said.

"I said it because Elizabeth brought up something that happened in the past so I got annoyed and told her that the situation was over so forget about it. We are most definitely not breaking up" and gave Pantaloons a kiss. Erlack! I vair don't need that in my already tragic brain.

"I was just asking to stop talking about his excellent winning of the croquet game that happened last year because the game is long over" Mrs Pantaloons said and they all started to talk about the stupid croquet match. When they were done with their selfishosity they finally realised that moi and Masimo hadn't said why we said it:

"Dears, why did you say it's over?" Mrs Pantaloons. Masimo and I stepped away from each other, glaring at each other.

"Because we are." We both said, filled with angerosity.

"It's you fault!"

"How is it?"

"You're the one who can't keep yourself from flirting!"

"You're one to talk! I caught you flirting with that girl the other day! And I wasn't flirting I was just talking."

"Sure. You always say that. We're over!"

"Good!"

"Good!" and Masimo stormed out of the house. There was a long silence until Pantaloons, obviously trying to look vair caringosity filled which she is vair not as any fule could tell.

"Oh you poor thing, don't worry about it. I'm sure you will sort it."

"No we won't! He is the biggest idiot ever!"

Daves Pov

Yes! She's dumped the Handbag Horse!

Gee's Pov

I ran out pretending to be crying. I am a vair marvy actress! I heard them all say:

"Poor little poppet!" Poppet? God do they think I am five? That's what Libbs used to say when she was trying to be "grown up".

5 minutes later 

Running up to my room was vair fab exercise! I really should do it every day!

1 minute later

Maybe not I may be stared at like I am _le _fule. Which any spoon can tell I am not.

5 minutes later 

Oh for God's sake will people leave me alone? God they are vair nosy minxes!

"Who is it? I just want to be alone"

"It's Dave"

"Go away Dave, I don't want to talk to you right now."

"What have I done?" I opened the door and said:

"Just think about your recent mistakes" POW! Vair good brain!

Dave's POV

What in the name of Flying Pants and Camels is she on it. Recent mistakes? Hmm brain, I will give you a minute to figure it out……….

1 minute later

My brain actually figured it out! Wow I am vair proud of you! She's made because I said our accidental snog was a mistake.

"Georgia, are you mad because I said our accidental snog was a mistake. I don't regret it, I just meant I didn't mean for it to happen unlike our old ones when I meant to. I said not to mention it because I am getting engaged and there is no point of telling Elizabeth about it as it was just an accidental mate snog."

She opened the door looking at me like I was vair confuzzling loon, which I am vair not.

Gees POV

For the love of God's pants of course I was angerosity-filled at him for saying that. He has never said it, even when he had a horn partner.

"Of course I am mad at you for that! You've never called me a mistake, even when you had a horn partner. You made me feel like I was something you were ashamed off!" Oh crap! You have the worst timing ever, Tears!

He wrapped his arms around me. Hmm maybe not, Tears! You are forgiven.

"Come on Gee. Don't cry, you know I vair hate it when you cry and then I would have to join in. Do you really want Dave the Biscuit to become Dave the Crier?" I giggled. "I am sorry Gee; I didn't mean to make you feel like that." I guess I will forgive him.

"I guess I can forgive you, under one condition"

"What would that be Kittykat?" he said smirking but I could see he had a bit of fear in his eyes. Muahahahha!

"We have to go out to a pub or a club tonight. Including Elizabeth"

I know what you're thinking: "Get the camel out and send Gee to the loony bin! Why does she want Elizabeth to come with them? I think all these boy fandangos have driven her more loony than she was before!" It's all part of the plan which you will know in due time. Hahaha! I sounded vair evilosity then!

"Okay then. I was expecting something worse than that"

"Ah I just want a good night out!" smiling innocently at him.

"Okay, me and Elizabeth will meet you downstairs at half 7. Where are we going to?"

"I'll tell you later"

"Okay, tatty bye!"

Oh this is going to be so good!

**Yay! Two chapters written in one day! I am on fire today! Thanks to Earth Kid tree Hugger who put me in a good and writing mood :D reviews please :) **


	8. Ninny Pinny

A/N I don't own the characters :( except the ones I made up

Thanks to: **Earth Kid Tree Hugger, jenjendavies, iluvrandom, youreyesforvrgluedtomine, Lozza the Lolly and Squirm **for you marvy reviews :) they are so appreciated :) and thank you to anyone who is reading :D

Sorry if its been ages since I last updated, so many things are going on right now I've totally lost track of time. At the moment I am getting ready for a class trip tomorrow, tidying my room, trying to pack for when I go away on Saturday and I have vair sore throat so I need to go get a drink so I am writing this between all of that lol :L

The above was writing 3 days ago, I am still tidying my room, trying to pack, still ill and now my bloody sister is making me look after our puppy coz she is too lazy so every 5 minutes she escapes down the stairs which she isn't allowed down :|

I am thinking this may turn out vair short so I will warn you in advance as I am vair kindosity! :)

Hope you like it! Reviews are vair welcome ;) if you have any ideas for this story send them in a pm or review :D

Btw this is un-betaed so any grammer and spelling mistakes are mine lol

1 minute later 

Yes, yes and thrice yes! This is going to be a vair tres amusante night! Ah my creativeosity and cleverosity is about to make a vair amusante fandango. Ah I am just vair fabby!

Dave's POV

What in the name of my camel's pants is Gee up to? It had better not ruin anything.

Gee's POV 

I am so vair excited, I am like a excited master in a excitement competition who wins it out of all the other excited people in the world. Well anyway my point is I am vair excited.

1 minute later

Muhahahaha! My Mystic Meg skills are telling me that the suspense is bugging the pants out of you; well you frustrated minxes of the world I am vair sorry to tell you that you will have to wait. Muhahahaha! I am giddy with having a plan hysterics. Down hysterics, down! We need to keep up an image you know, as everybody knows I do not show myself as a spoon or fule. Ever.

6:00

Ah merde! I got so carried away with my vair fabby plan that I forgot to get ready. Now I only have an hour and a half to get ready and any fule should know that that is vair not enough time. Ho hum pigs bum

Cleanse, tone and moisturise face

Glitter moisturizer for all over sparkle effect

Lippie

Lip gloss

Base coat of foundation

Second coat of foundation

Powder and toner

Eyeliner and liquid liner

Eye shadow

4 coats of mascara

Outfit on

Curl hair

Put high heels on

Vair long list but I used my speedy pants to be able to do this in an hour and a half. Vair marvy achievement if you ask me. Hmm lets have one more look at my outfit; nice not over the top purple dress with black leggings and black heels. Vair sophis if you ask moi. Dave is going to be blown away like a blown away thing blown away. And no you silly minxes I don't mean a blowing things away thing blew Dave away I mean he will have stupid brain and goldfish expression because of my Sex Kittyness. Yes, yes and thrice yes!

7:31

Wowsa wow! I am actually on time! I am vair shockedosity myself. I got downstairs and saw Dave and Pantaloons there. Typico that they would be there exactly on time. Haha what does Pantaloons look like? She is wearing a yellow sweater and a long black skirt that looks vair ancient although I have to admit I like her shoes. Damn gorgey shoes. Dave looks bloody gorgey porgey and yummy scrumboes, ooh jelloid knickers!

"Your late Georgia" Bloody stupid Pantaloons! Its 7:31 that's not late its exact on time.

"This is being on time for Georgia, darling." Hmph.

"So where are we going to?"

"You'll see"

Pub

This is my sort of pub! Everybody is vair hyper/drunk and dancing like loons. Pantaloons will hate it.

1 minute later

Yes, yes and thrice yes! She hates it! She looks like she is vair scared bananas, Muhahaha! Dave looks vair happy, he will enjoy this place. Ahh! The guy singing karaoke sounds like old Cross Eyed Gordy when Libby used to shove him through the letter box. I.e. a squealing madosity loon evil cat. Elizabeth went even paler when she saw this was a karaoke bar. This is going to be tres amusante!

5 minutes later

"Do you remember that holiday when-"

"The thing with Rosie and Sven happened. That was so funny"

"And when-"

"Jas and Tom-"

"Found a vole an-"

"Rosie sat on it!"

Hahaha this is so funny. I am having a vair guht time with Dave talking about memories that Elizabeth doesn't know about, and we have been doing shots. Of course prissy pants doesn't drink alcohol, she stuck to orange juice. Tres pathetico.

5 minutes later

Yes! Here comes my chance for operation Embarraso Pantaloons-o. The man who runs the karaoke thingy ma- bob was asking for volunteers, so I said loud enough for him to hear:

"Come on Elizabeth!" Yes, yes and thrice yes! Everybody has started cheering her name. Now for all you forgetful minxes of the world, Elizabeth said when I first met her that she hated karaoke so this is purrfect opportunity to embarrass her and show Dave what a ninny pinny she is! And for all those Jazzy Spazzy type people all over the world that is raising an eyebrow and saying: "is that Georgia's plan" all sceptical. It is vair fabby plan if you are on the same cleverosity level as me which is vair hard to be on. It's hard being the most cleverosity filled person out there.

"No thank you, I'd rather not"

"Go on! Don't be a party pooper!"

Then the karaoke man shoved the microphone in her hands and started the music. Hahaha she is as trapped as a trapped person know and no I don't mean she's trapped in a box or something; I mean she can't get out of singing.

10 seconds later

Hahaha they have given her: "My heart will go on" by Celine Dion, pretty much one of the hardest songs to sing. Ooooh this is going to be marvy with knobs on! She looked at Dave who I could tell was struggling like a struggling thing not to laugh.

2 minutes later

She is vair tragicosity bad! My ears are gonna go deaf but it is vair and tres amusante! I looked round to see if people were boo-ing but they were all clapping and being supportive.

Merde! Our Lord Ex Sandra now Jesus why couldn't you just let me have this moment? What have I done to be this vair cursed against? Other then you know letting Libbs turn you into a transvestite when she was younger and occasionally insulting you, I am a vair innocent victim.

Dave was looking at Pantaloons all impressed. Merde! The plan was supposed to be make her look like a fule not get Dave looking at her in admirosity.

"Give it up for our great sport Elizabeth!" everybody cheered for her and clapped. She was all sucking up to the crowd and all bows and "oh stop it, your making me blush". Stupid bloody Pantaloon bitch! This was supposed to send her to embarrasedosity central not have people admiringosity filled for her. Waaah and boo hoo.

Half hour later

After more shots taken by me and Dave, we all walked out of the pub, Dave with a arm round each of us saying: "Ah my two fav girls" and we were quite rowdy. Yee haa!

"I think I am going to go home now. Dave, are you coming?" Elizabeth asked as she paged her chauffeur to come get her.

"Nah, I fancy a kebab"

"Ooh me too" I said.

"Oh okay then. Don't be to late darling" and kissed him on the cheek as her limo pulled up.

10 minutes later

Mmm yummy! I lurve kebab!

5 minutes later

Dave and I finished our kebabs and we talking about a load of wubish as we were both a bit drunk and suddenly I found his lips on mine.

Yummy scrumboes!

10 minutes later

No! Don't pull away!

Dave looked me in the eye and came out with:

"Have you ever thought about me as more than just a best friend?"

**A/N Hope you like, review please :) **


	9. Thinking Horns

A/N i don't own the characters as you know :( Well except the ones i made up :)

Sorry for the longer than usual wait. Extra apology to my awesome beta Earth Kid Tree Hugger.

I have a feeling this will be vair, vair short but you never know :)

Serious writer's block :(

_FLASHBACK_

_5 minutes later_

_Dave and I finished our kebabs and we talking about a load of wubish as we were both a bit drunk and suddenly I found his lips on mine._

_Yummy scrumboes!_

_10 minutes later_

_No! Don't pull away!_

_Dave looked me in the eye and came out with:_

_"Have you ever thought about me as more than just a best friend?"_

________________________________________________________________________

1 second later

_Merde_! What in the name of Mr. Pantaloons oversized pants should I say? The truth? Quick Brain, put your thinking horns on! You have one minute to decide what I am supposed to say. I'll just keep up the staring fandango at Dave to distract him while you think.

1 minute later

**Tell him the truth! **What! I didn't think you would say that.

"Gee, please just tell me."

"Why do you want to know?

"Because I do. Please Gee"

"I…erm…have." _Merde_! I wasn't going to tell the truth. Way to go Lips.

"Really?!"

"Er…yeah.."

"Gee, you're turning into how Ellen used to be. But seriously, when?"

"On that holiday when we… you know… hooked up"

"Oh." Is that it? He gets me to nearly tell him a secret that I have kept from him for gazillions of years.

"Yeah." Now that's just such a smart answer brain.

We sat in silence for another gazillion years before my lips decided to ask a question of their own.

"What about you? Have you ever thought of me in a troth exchangee type way?"

"Err…well…yeah.."

"What, when we were younger?"

"Sort of… It was the same time as you"

"Ohmygiddygod!"

"Amen to that!"

"Have you turned into a vicar?" We both burst out laughing like loons on loon tablets. We stayed like that for another gazillion years before I got hiccups from all the laughing.

We sat there just staring into the night, which was vair _enneyeux _or boring for those pallies out there who aren't quite as good at Froggie as I am.

"I'm gonna go get some chuddy." Dave said to me smiling that gorgey smile of his. I watched him through the shop window until a vair drunk person blocked my view. I looked up and was ready to tell him to gather his pants and leave but he said:

"You're Georgia"

"Yes indeedy I am, how do you know that?"

"I'm Elizabeth's brother"

"Great"

"You're fine. I want to snog you" I was about to tell him to piss off when he snogged me. Eww. Get off!

"What are you doing?!" I finally managed to get Pantaloons brother off me and saw it was Dave who said it. He looked scary bananas mad.

"This isn't what it looks like!"

"This is my wedding trip! And you can't even go without snogging someone. Even when it's the bride's brother." And he ran off.

_Merde!_ I have got to catch him up and explain it to him. Time for the speedy pants!

20 minutes later

I finally caught up with him as he was near the front door and grabbed his arm.

"Why are you so angry with me? It was an accident; he was drunk and snogged me"

"I'm angry because...because…"

"Because what?"

"I love you!"

* * *

Muahaha! I love that ending. Hope you did too. Sorry it was vair short, hopefully the next chapter will be longer. :)

Review?

Pip Pip :)


	10. Shocked Central

A/N i don't own the characters only ones i made up

Sorry if it's been long since the last update, i honestly have lost track of time yet again. Most of plot is revealed in this, so i hope you like it.

Sorry if it's short, I'm having slight writers block again and also I'm writing this while keeping an eye on my puppy, shes a nightmare so i keep having to stop writing every few minutes :|

This chapter is dedicated to E arth. K id. T ree. H ugger for being a fabby beta :)

**Okay i've written it now, and it's a bit short again I'm afraid :(**

* * *

FLASHBACK

_20 minutes later_

_I finally caught up with him as he was near the front door and grabbed his arm._

_"Why are you so angry with me? It was an accident; he was drunk and snogged me"_

_"I'm angry because...because…"_

_"Because what?"_

_"I love you!"_

**Chapter 10- Shocked Central**

I was like a frozen thing frozen and a shocked agog, which is not a vair good mix, I'll tell you that. I was just vair shocked, I have been waiting like over ten years for Dave to say that but now he has said it, it has sent me to Vair Shocked Central!

Brain! What do I say? I mean I know I feel the same away but I still don't know what to say.

"You really lurrveee me?" Hmm that was quite Norma normal. Not bad brainy wainy.

"Yeah, for a long time."

"Oh." Oh? That made me sound like a fule. "Then why are you with Elizabeth?" Much better, Brain.

"Because...because I didn't want to be a bearded, lonely old loon in 50 years time still waiting for you."

"Oh." What is with the Oh's brain? "Why didn't you just tell me Dave?"

"Cause it would have sent me straight on my camel to Embarrassed Central when you rejected me"

"No it wouldn't have, you silly biscuit!"

He did his goldfish expression, which he can pull of vair better than me. He still looks gorgey even when he looks like a loon.

"What are you saying Gee?" Boo, he looked all vair serious like Dave the Serious.

"I… erm…"

"Gee, hitch up your PANTS and tell me."

"I love you; I have for gazillions of years."

Dave just stared at me like a staring loon. Stop staring you spoon!

Then he grinned and snogged me at number 6 level on the snogging scale.

Yummy scrumboes!

And scrummy yumboes too!

We were still snogging a gazillion minutes later when someone coughed. We stopped snogging and looked at the person who had coughed.

_Merde_!

Three guesses to all the pallies in the world as to who coughed?

Do you need three guesses?

If you do then you are dim mon pallie.

Actually seeing as I am all for world peace and all that stuff, I am sorry for calling those people dim.

Even if you are.

Anyway, back to my point.

It was... Pantaloons/Elizabeth

_Merde_.

I was in my goldfish/shocked agog state again, still not vair gorgey.

Dave looked blank.

Elizabeth just looked like a vair shocked agog for a gazillion of minutes. Then she smiled and said:

"Finally! For the love of PANTS you two took gazillions of years! I thought I was going to have to run you both over with Dave's camel!"

Baby J, please stop confuzzling me like this; my face can't take all the shocked expressions I am trying to do: like goldfish and shocked agogs.

Dave and Elizabeth high fived and grinned at me looking like a shocked agog.

"Will one of you grinning fules please tell me what's going on?" They both laughed then Elizabeth turned to me, and said:

"Well this was all a plan to get you to admit you luuurve Dave" Huh. I must have looked as confuzzled as I felt because she said:

"Well you see when I met Dave, he never stopped talking about you and eventually admitted he loved you. I could tell you loved him by him tellling me what you are like together. So I came up with this plan of me and Dave getting faked engaged to make you jealous and admit you were in love with him. But then Masimo came along and almost ruined everything. Oh and by the way he is vair gorgey.

"I know, it's a shame he's on the gay side of the handbag. Hang on you said gorgey. You talk like me and Dave?"

"Oh yes indeedy, I only acted like posh pants to make you hate me even more."

"Oh that was vair cleverosity filled."

"I admire honesty, anyway so yeah when Masimo arrived Dave was all it's not going to work but then you dumped him. And I'm guessing that was fake?"

"Yeah. Kinda."

"Yeah so then we were alright again, and we were going to make you real jealous tomorrow but know Dave's admitted he loves you and you admitted you love him and it's all double cool with knobs on!"

"Woah. That was a vair cleverosity filled plan Elizabeth"

"I know right. Oh and by the way can you call me Lizzie? I hate being called Elizabeth it's so eww."

"Okie dokey"

"Oh and by the way Dave told me all about the Ace Gang. They sound vair fabby, I used to have an ace gang in school but now they are all vair stuck up because they have loads of money."

"Ho hum pigs bum, that's vair poo-osity filled."

Dave rolled his eyes and snogged me.

Yummy scrumboes!

10 minutes later

Ah this has turned out so well!

* * *

A/N: So... did you like it? Did i explan things well enough? Anything you're confused about? Tell me in a review please :)

Yay Dave and Gee :)

This isn't the end, there is another chapter or two :D

Pip Pip pallies :)


	11. My Sex Kitty

_**A/N Usual disclaimer: I don't own characters :(**_

_**Sorry for long wait, so many stories to update at the moment that I'm getting all confuzzled. Thanks for the fabby reviews! :) Please check out mine and Earth Kid tree Hugger's, The Pant Awards written on our joint account called: Dave the Laugh is GROOVY-GRAVY. Please nominate! :D**_

_**Also check out our joint tandem story on the same account called: Sex Kitty, I Luuurve You!**_

_**I have a feeling this might be quite fluffy. And short.**_

_**Oh and there will be one more chapter after this one. **_

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

"_Ho hum pigs bum, that's vair poo-osity filled."_

_Dave rolled his eyes and snogged me._

_Yummy scrumboes!_

_10 minutes later_

_Ah this has turned out so well!_

**Chapter 11 – My Sex Kitty**

Three months later and I still can't believe I am with Dave.

I lurveeeeee being with him.

It's always really exciting.

We are even living together now!

He asked me to move in with him.

We wasted so much time, that we don't want to waste anymore.

I love being able to snog him without worrying if one of our Horn partners found out.

When we came back from California, we arranged a get together with the Ace Gang and the Barmy Army.

When we told them they all cheered and said "finally".

I am always the last to know.

Anyway, then we got vair drunk.

So vair drunk that I was still drunk the next day.

The hang over was a trip to Ouchy Ouch Central.

Dave didn't get as drunk as me, so he was laughing at moi all through my tragic and vair painful hangover.

Vair nice. Not.

But I forgave him after some *cough* persuasion.

I.e. snogging.

And some other stuff that I won't mention.

_**Three hours later **_

I wonder what we are doing tonight?

Davey Boy won't tell me.

He said to let my Biscuit surprise me.

Well I hope he is tip top on the surprising front.

He is certainly tip top on the Snoggosity front.

_**1 hour later**_

Makeup and hair done to my Sex Kitty standard.

Now what to wear?

Short red dress or purple dress with leggings?

The red is very Sex Kitty-ish.

But the purple is a bit more casual.

Hmm…

Thinking…

Thinking…

_**1 minute later**_

Red dress!

_**1 minute later**_

Purple dress!

_**1 minute later**_

Red!

_**1 minute later**_

Purple!

_**1 minute later**_

Red!

_**5 minutes later**_

Ho hum pigs bum.

Dave has been waiting in the living room for half an hour already.

And I can't decide what dress to wear.

I've got 1 minute until we are supposed to go.

And I am standing here in my bra and knickers.

Merde.

_**1 minute later**_

"Are you ready yet Kittykat? You've taken ages. Put on your speedy pants and let's go."

"I can't decide what to wear."

"Good grief Kittykat, you spent all that time trying to figure out what to wear."

"Yes."

"Fine, I'll use my fabbiness to help you."

"Whaa…" I started until Dave opened the door and walked in.

He stared at me for a while.

Then he grinned his gorgey grin and said:

"Deffo the outfit you're wearing now."

I looked down at what I was wearing.

My bra and knickers.

And just to let you know pallies, they are knickers.

Not a thong.

I still hate them because of Wet Lindsay.

Ah get out of my head Lindsay.

"Dave, what dress?" I held them both up.

"Do I have to pick? I would rather see you in what you are wearing now."

Cheeky cat.

"Maybe later if you're lucky, now pick a dress."

He looked vair serious while he was thinking.

"Red one. It's more Sex Kitty-ish which is puurrfect for my Sex Kitty."

"Fabby!"

How is it that Dave can pick in under a minute but I couldn't pick in like 20 minutes?

Vair unfair.

_**Half hour later.**_

Wow.

The coconut club.

I haven't been here in years!

Not since I was a teenager.

I wonder what we are doing here?

It's vair random.

But so is Dave so I guess it fits.

_**1 hour later**_

Woo!

Me and Dave have just educated people.

About the Ace Gang's groovy gravy dances.

And about Vikings.

How fabby are we?

Vair fabby if you didn't know.

You should know anyway.

But seeing as I am brimming to the top with niceosity I'll forgive your silly mistake.

_**Half an hour later**_

I wonder where Dave is.

Vair rudey dudey of him to ditch me like that.

_**1 minute later**_

I found him.

Right in front of me.

Down on his knees

What in the name of Buddha's sandals is he doing?

I looked at him with my vair confuzzled look.

It's not too attractive.

He just grinned at me, pulled out a ring box and then said:

"Georgia, Kitty, I know me and you have only been together three months but I have lurrved you for more than 10 years and I don't want to waste anymore time. I took you here, because this is were we first met and that was a really special night for this fabby biscuit and I hope for you to. Kittykat, will you marry me?"

Ohmygiddygod!

"Nggghhh."

Really brain? Really?

Stupid lips.

They won't talk.

"Can I take that as a yes?"

I just nodded and snogged him.

Vair muchos.

_**1 minute later**_

Yes!

I am finally going to be Mrs. Laugh.

_**10 minute later**_

Me and Dave have finally stopped snogging.

He grinned at me.

Good Buddha, that grin is sooo gorgey.

I'm getting stupid brain again.

_**1 second later**_

Ohmygiddygod!

The ring is bloody gorgey

And fabby.

"Fancy getting out of here Kittykat?"

"Yep indeedy."

_**1 minute later**_

I'm engaged to Dave!

Yesssssssss!

* * *

_**A/N Aaw so so fluffy :) I loved writing it. I hope you liked reading it. I can't believe this story is nearly over. Waaah! **_

_**Reviews would be vair fabby ;)**_

_**Pip Pip pallies! :)**_


	12. Fabbyosity Lurve Story

_**A/n *sobs* this is the end of the story! Boo! I hope this wasn't a long wait for you, I started school again on Friday and it's been really intense so far, I've had loads of coursework already :( Anyway I'm sure you don't care about that so let's get on with this. I think this will be short and full of fluff again. Well it will definitely be fluffy, I know that :) **_

**I've written it now; It's short :( **

_Flashback:_

_1 minute later_

_I'm engaged to Dave!_

_Yesssssssss!_

**Chapter 12: Fabbyosity Lurvee Story. **

"….So that's how these two loons that I call my bestie pallies got together. Honestly, it took yeaaaars, it's probably the longest but most fabbyosity lurvee story I've heard. Anyway let's put our glasses in the air like posh pants and toast to Dave and Gee the looniest lurrve birds ever, other then me and my Viking husband of course!"

Ho hum pigs bum.

I should have just made Jas speak in the end as she is the Maid of Honour. I should have said "I don't care if you're pregnant and think you look like a giant vole in your bridesmaid dress," and made her speak.

Although she probably would have embarrassed me more than Ro-Ro did, as she is still known as Radio Jas.

Although Ro-Ro's speech was sooooo long.

I'm surprised people didn't fall asleep.

I nearly did, if it wasn't for Dave laughing in my ear.

Giddy God, he looks bloody gorgey today.

I got stupid brain as I was walking up the aisle but thankfully it went before I had to say anything.

That would have been vair, vair embarrassing.

Although Dave had a goldfish expression on his face when he saw me walking up the aisle so I think he had a bit of stupid brain too.

_**5 minutes later**_

Giddy God.

People are still talking about Ro-Ro's speech.

It isn't that amazing.

I think it's a normal lurvee story.

_**1 minute later**_

Felt a hand entwine with mine so I looked towards the person.

It was Dave.

Of course.

He was grinning at me.

Phwoar!

He's so yummy scrumboes when he grins.

Now I have slight jelloid knickers.

Marvy.

I think Dave sensed this because he snogged me.

Yummy!

_**5 minutes later**_

"Oi Lurrvee Loons, stop snogging and come and have your first dance!"

Typico Ro-Ro.

Dave stood up so I went with him.

Duh.

We slowed danced to some really slow music.

It was vair nice.

Dave whispered in my ear.

"What are you thinking about Mrs. Laugh?"

"You, Mr. Laugh"

"Can't even resist thinking about me can you?"

"Of course not."

We were quiet for a bit until Dave said.

"I love you Kitty."

Aaw.

"I love you too Dave."

We started snogging again until the music turned off.

We both looked and Ro-Ro was standing at the DJ's place who seemed to be replaced with Sven.

She gave her scary grin and said:

"This is all too sappy for me. Now in the name of Merrie England and all those groovers and swingers out there… Let's get down!"

Sven put more upbeat music on and Ro-Ro started to do our classic "Lets go down the disco" dance!

Fabby!

I haven't done that in at least….2 weeks!

_**10 minutes later**_

This is fab! I'm finally official Mrs. Laugh and me and the Ace Gang and Barmy Army are doing our mega double cool with knobs on dance.

Result!

* * *

_**A/n *sobs again* I can't believe this over, I started this ages ago. Gazillion thanks to my amazing beta Earth Kid Tree Hugger for her help, support and her patience. Thank you to all those who have reviewed, subscribed and added this to favourites, I love it when I see emails saying you've done one of these. Thanks a bunch.! :)**_

_**Check out my lastest COGN story: Hamburgese Snogging Extravaganza. **_

_**Also check out all of Earth Kid Tree Hugger's stories; they are amazing and I am sure you would all LOBE them. Check out the Pant's Awards and Sex Kitty, I Lurrvee You! On our joint account: Dave the Laugh is GROOVY-GRAVY.**_

_**Thanks to these people for your reviews: Earth Kid Tree Hugger, x-teamjasper-x, chimericality, Frankie-JaymeENGLISHPROUD, davethelaughfan, caraghbbz, x-FruitySkittles-x, youreyesforevrgluedtomine, Squirm, Lozza the Lolly, iluvrandom and jenjendavies.**_


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